Breathing Life - Joshua Roy's Blog

Often we are the last to notice an internal change or “shift” that has occurred inside ourselves.  When I work with others I look for internal “shifts” and changes that occur.  The beauty about change is that it is visible, if one knows what to look for, and how change will manifest itself.  Predominately change will show up on a person’s face and in their physiology.   Due to the unique nature of human beings, the manifestation of psychological “shifts” shows up differently for each individual.  I have been observing “shifts” in people for many years now.  This awareness is learned and all can develop this ability.   In my occupation I often need to deal with aggressive and angry people.  I see the “shifts” happen in these individuals prior to their becoming aggressive.  There are signs that people give prior to ‘acting out’, that warn others of their intentions.  We can learn to become attuned to these signs and this is important if we want to remain prepared and safe.  Learning to read these signs comes with experience, and sometimes that experience is a result of pain and discomfort.  What we use in this instance is “sensory acuity”.  We…

I spoke with a man who stated that he continually makes jokes about other people in front of them that are inappropriate. These jokes are far from malicious as he is a wonderful man and really cares for others, however he described that there is a switch in his mind that is activated when he makes an attempt to draw people close to him. What ends up happening instead is that he can offend and hurt others feelings, thereby causing distance in his interpersonal relationships. These actions are born of insecurity. Rather than silence he feels the need to speak to fill that silence. As I was listening to him describe this situation I recognised a need to be accepted, loved and connection with other people. Offending people in this way is antisocial. While innocent in his intent, the fact remains that this need for love and connection is driving him to speak and act in adverse ways, and this is producing the opposite effect in his world. Once trust is broken and offence received he has to work twice as hard to reestablish this connection with others. I wanted to help and decided that a swish pattern could be…

We all have a need to be loved. We all want to feel deeply loved by another person and share something unique and special. We want that person to love the entirety of us as a person. We want that person to love our good and noble qualities, and to be patient with and love us through our shortfalls and failings. To offer loving support until we iron out our weaknesses, and turn these weaknesses into strengths. We want the kind of love that enables us to grow and expand, while trusting implicitly in the ongoing support of our true friend and lover. The reality of mortality is that all of us have weaknesses and shortcomings. We may desire to always be supporting, loving, kind and generous, only to find that their is always a gap between where we are and where we would like to be. This gap keeps us yearning for improvement and growth. Setting our personal goal as mastery in the area of relationships keeps us continually striving. Love is the reward. Remember the first rule of mastery is to realise that there is no mastery, only increments of excellence. Mastery in relationships means continual growth, and…

Many years ago as a kickboxing promoter I helped to train up a young man name Josh to compete in a kickboxing tournament.   I had taught Josh how to punch, kick, block and move.  We had trained speed, power and endurance.   The only thing I had not taught him was how to get into the kickboxing ring.   There are two ways to get into a kickboxing ring.  The first way is over the top rope.  The second way is through the ropes.   Now Josh was tall and therefore I made a decision that he should go over the top rope.   I arrived at the side of the ring before he did.  I then used all my weight to push down on the rope.  The rope was tort and did not move very much.  I put all my weight onto the rope and still it did not go down very far.   Josh moved to the side of the ring and grabbed onto the top rope with his boxing gloves.  Those of you have used boxing gloves know that it is very difficult to grab or hold onto something.   At this point Josh decided to…

I invited a good friend to be part of my morning routine.  During part of this routine we engage in affirmations with movement.  As this friend began to speak he moved his body in powerful ways and asked that his Maker would use him in powerful ways.  He concluded with the words, “I will be your ripple effect”. Whatever you are. Whatever you do. Whatever you say, people are watching. I recall Steven covey the author and leadership expert once said, “Who you are speaks so loudly it does not matter what you say”. Others get a sense for who we are and what we are, even before we open our mouth. When we do speak, our words are confirmed by what we do and how we act. What we say is secondary. Inconsistency between words and action will let others know we cannot be trusted and are not reliable. While human beings fall short of perfection, there is no excuse for not striving to improve the current situation. There is no excuse for not even striving to increase your capacity to love, forgive, overcome and move forward with hope. There is no excuse pretending you are doing well whilst sitting stagnant….

Dry Nights, Bedwetting is a major concern.  According to recent studies about 80 percent of children cease wetting the bed by the age of 5.  Of the remaining 20 percent some will continue to wet the bed for years.  For some bedwetting can continue into the teenage years and even adulthood. In fact the older the child gets the more need for intervention and psychiatric help and assistance.  Experts tell us that the in the absence of a pattern of bladder control, the child will continue to have problems and that these will generally not be resolved without some form of intervention. Mechanical pads, alarms, psychiatrist, psychologist and other professionals may be relied on to assist. When you encounter this issue, you should consider the assistance of a life coach.  I will tell you why. The cost of pull ups is very high.  Over months and years you could spend thousands of dollars.  $$$$$$.  The cost of trained medical professional may take weeks or months to slowly work through all the underlying issues associated with the challenge.  This too will cost.  $$$$$$. A peak performance life coach will stamp out the issue in one session. Let me share with you…

I was working with a man who was visiting with me and was interested in all the material that I am using and sharing.  He was interested in learning the sciences of Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), Neuro Associative Conditioning (NAC), and Neurological Re-Patterning. I have been studying this information for the last several years and only recently had I really began to teach others how it all works.  Prior to this I was feeling that I did not know enough and that I was not ready.  These beliefs were impeding my progress and causing me to accept a standard of life that was far below what I knew that I was capable of.  (My new beliefs are I know all that I need to know to create powerful lasting change in the lives of others, and I am absolutely ready for the world to know who I am). Finally I am now living and sharing this information and having great success everywhere I go.  I commented just this week to my father that “I do not fail”.  I said to him, “I don’t know what has happened to me and I have never experienced anything like this before in my…

Had a profound and wonderful experience with a young woman who had struggled for many years with an eating disorder.   This woman stated that when she was about 7 years old she made a decision based on a thoughtless comment made by another person.  At this time she decided that she was large, and began living into this belief as a fundamental principle of her life.  From that time she had constantly struggled with weight, and this issue was having a major impact on her health and life. The first thing that I did was a process called parts integration.  Through this process she learned that the part of her that wanted healthy appetite and living was subservient to the part of her that wanted a pleasure filled appetite of eating unhealthy and sugary foods.   In other words the desire to eat unhealthy food was greater than her desire to treat her body with the love and respect it deserved, by eating satisfying and good foods.  She realised that this had created internal conflicts within herself. She said, “I recognise that I have been giving myself mixed signals.  My mind and body has been doing exactly what I have been telling it to do”….

I have done previous posts on matching and mirroring and in order to appreciate this post it would be a good idea for you to check out former posts.  I also have a video on my site in which I give two examples in building rapport using matching and mirroring. Sending a text message or email is a less effective communication strategy. This seems to be the preferred way for young people to communicate.  The reason this is less effective is because words alone can be significantly misinterpreted.  I recall sending a funny text once to a friend.  This text message was misinterpreted and the friend became offended.  You see all the person got was a written message.  I sent it as a joke, yet the receiver had no way of knowing that I was joking.  As I was writing the joke I said it in a funny way in my own head, and then laughed at how funny I thought the joke was.   Unfortunately the joke did not work and I can only assume that the person read with a very different tone in their mind.  I have wondered how the same message may have been received had…

As a life coach it is imperative to be in PEAK condition.  By creating immense happiness in one’s own life, we inspire others to create it in theirs.  I am the happiest that I have ever been in my life, and this is because I constantly create a flood of positive emotions in my own body.   The old saying is true that “you cannot lift another soul until you are standing on higher ground than he is”.  In order to lift another person in the area of physical health and fitness, one would not choose a lazy coach.  Just as an athlete must fuel their body appropriately, so too should a life coach.    Just as one would expect a good financial adviser to be prosperous, one would expect that a life coach applies principles of financial success.  Furthermore just as a relationship expert should have strong relationships, so too should a life coach.  It is also relevant in the area of spirituality.  As we develop a strong spiritual life we can assist others to find their purpose in life and live into a bright and compelling future.   The best way to learn is to model behaviour.  The best…