Saying dumb stuff

February 19, 2016
I spoke with a man who stated that he continually makes jokes about other people in front of them that are inappropriate. These jokes are far from malicious as he is a wonderful man and really cares for others, however he described that there is a switch in his mind that is activated when he makes an attempt to draw people close to him. What ends up happening instead is that he can offend and hurt others feelings, thereby causing distance in his interpersonal relationships.
These actions are born of insecurity. Rather than silence he feels the need to speak to fill that silence. As I was listening to him describe this situation I recognised a need to be accepted, loved and connection with other people.
Offending people in this way is antisocial. While innocent in his intent, the fact remains that this need for love and connection is driving him to speak and act in adverse ways, and this is producing the opposite effect in his world. Once trust is broken and offence received he has to work twice as hard to reestablish this connection with others.
I wanted to help and decided that a swish pattern could be applied. All he he needed to do was get a picture of the old way of being, and then decide how he wanted to be instead, and create a new picture of of this new way of being. Once he had both pictures in his mind then the swish pattern is designed to destroy the old way of being and replace this with a new empowering way of being.
He described the old way of being as a black and white picture directly in front of him about 2 meters away. He described other details and sub modalities relating to this picture. He described that the picture was still, there was no sound, smell or tastes emitting from this picture. As he looked at the picture he felt sad, and shrugged his shoulders and felt to just not care about it. (This attitude of pretending not to care was a deception with himself. I could tell that he cared deeply. He just had a poor strategy around caring. This strategy would need to be dealt with at another time).
He also described the new picture as colour. The picture was of himself smiling. This picture emitted sounds of laughter that could be felt more than heard. He felt happy as he looked at this picture knowing that he was truly bringing joy to others.
Now I had him pill the black and white picture toward him and then slingshot it toward the new colour picture. As they collided I had him imagine that the old blank and white picture exploded into a million pieces. All that was left was the new colour picture that now raced toward him and filled his whole vision. We repeated this process with him about 15 times, and got faster and faster each time until it became almost an instant flash in his mind. I used the word “swish” for each repetition.
Having completed I did a break state. I asked him if he could smell popcorn.
I then did a future pace in which he described that all he could think about is himself smiling, and making others around him happy.
I concluded by reinforcing the new way of being using hypnotic language and the power of suggestion.
I love this work and the ability to share and help other.

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