Breathing Life - Joshua Roy's Blog

Advertisers have spent years understanding the relationship between sex and the functions of the brain. Sex is tied to our primal instincts and is a function of the lizard brain. Many are not aware at we have three brains, not just one. There is the lizard brain or the paleo cortex, the mammalian brain, and the new brain or Neo cortex. Sexually stimulating pictures, stories and sounds affect the mind in a huge way. The lizard brain is located at the tip of the spine. It is directly connected to the nervous system of the body. This is why when a person is sexually stimulated there are very intense feelings that permeate the body. Even if the body is not moving and you are in a resting position, when exposed to sexually stimulating material the heart rate will accelerate, adrenaline can enter the body and tiredness can be dispelled. Advertisers are aware that by exposing men to sexual images and provocative sounds, feelings of excitement, adrenaline and euphoria are created. In this way, they are able to link those feelings to their product or service. The unconscious mind may falsely associate the product or service being advertised, to the stimulated…

Has there been a period in your life in which you were ‘burning the candle at both ends’.  Goals, dreams, ambition constantly require effort and energy to constantly produce outstanding results.  I have just returned from a well needed holiday at the Gold Coast. It was wonderful to be with the family and enjoy quality time with them.  There are so many ‘pulls’ and ‘tugs’ in the world, that often we need to re-evaluate where we are heading and what we are creating.  Love, marriage and relationships are pulling us in one direction, while career aspirations are tugging us in another direction.  We invest time toward being physically fit and healthy, while feeling the need to contribute and provide service to those in need.   I once attended the medieval festival where a jester was balancing on a small plank, that was balancing on red ball.  He then began to juggle.  As I think about this scene, I believe that this is a great analogy for life, and the many pressures and competing forces that demand our attention.  Having a family holiday was fantastic, and it reminded me how critical it is to ensure that the family, the fundamental unit of…

Dry Nights, Bedwetting is a major concern.  According to recent studies about 80 percent of children cease wetting the bed by the age of 5.  Of the remaining 20 percent some will continue to wet the bed for years.  For some bedwetting can continue into the teenage years and even adulthood. In fact the older the child gets the more need for intervention and psychiatric help and assistance.  Experts tell us that the in the absence of a pattern of bladder control, the child will continue to have problems and that these will generally not be resolved without some form of intervention. Mechanical pads, alarms, psychiatrist, psychologist and other professionals may be relied on to assist. When you encounter this issue, you should consider the assistance of a life coach.  I will tell you why. The cost of pull ups is very high.  Over months and years you could spend thousands of dollars.  $$$$$$.  The cost of trained medical professional may take weeks or months to slowly work through all the underlying issues associated with the challenge.  This too will cost.  $$$$$$. A peak performance life coach will stamp out the issue in one session. Let me share with you…

My daughter was visiting and we had many special and wonderful experiences together. On the camping trip we played cards together and I laughed so hard that it hurt. The enjoyment of that time will forever live as a highlight in my mind. During the holidays, she had injured herself and I took her to the hospital and stayed for several hours with her while the doctors treated her. We learned that she tore a muscle in her upper thigh. She was in tremendous pain and was given an injection for the pain, yet there was little else that could be done. There was also a time where my daughter invited the family together so that she could share with us her feelings and dreams for herself and for each of us. That was an amazing experience and there was a richness of love and joy created. Every single person spoke and we listened to each individual person for about an hour. Another special time was where my daughter and I sat and spoke for a couple of hours. During the conversation we really connected on a deep level. We spoke about life and choices. We spoke of joy and love. We spoke of the future and the past. It was…

Some time ago my wife and I attended a relationship “strengthening marriage” seminar. After completing the course we explained to a family friend that we did this course. The response was very interesting. This person said, “oh, I did not know that you were having marriage difficulties”. This was an interesting response. When I replied that we were not having problems, the person looked perplexed. The prevalence of this perception is really concerning. The mechanical world understands the need for tune ups and prevention checks. Car services are not only done to change oil, but to check brake pads, lights, tyres, and other moving parts.  Very few cars break down on the highway when regular car services are performed. So why did my wife and I participate in the “strengthening marriage course”. Well this is not the first course we have done together and it will not be the last.  While at the “strengthening marriage course”, the facilitator asked what activities you can do together as a couple. Other couples gave standard answers like hold hands.  Sit together and talk. Go out to dinner.  Go to the movies. I then explained to the other couples that my wife and I…

When most people hear the term investing, they immediately think of money. They may think of investing in real estate or shares, or in other ventures. I would like us to consider investing in another way. I have been asked to MC several weddings and functions and each time I have fully invested of myself. On one occasion I was asked to help run a live auction. This was a very new prospect, as I had never run a live auction. I therefore took it upon myself to prepare for this auction. I really wanted to do a great job and provide entertainment, laughter and be competent and proficient at running this auction. I could have attended and hoped for the best, however I am someone who has learned over the years that preparation precedes performance. Therefore I prepared myself by using YouTube to see several examples of live auctions. I had my iPad in the bathroom and spent about an hour just watching and learning from other auctioneer’s. I then began practicing the skills. Rolling my tongue, rapid clear speech, rhythm and tempo of the calls. Practicing the numbers forward and backwards. I also did a number of voice…

I spoke with a teenage girl who stated that she is always fighting and getting into yelling arguments with others, including her mother, her cousin, and other people in her life.   Her justification for being confrontational is that she hates others telling her what to do.  This is an issue for her now in her life, yet in the future it could also be an issue if she someday works for a boss.  The reality is that most of us need to be able to respond appropriately when being told what to do.   I decided to do a process with her in which we considered her strategy for getting angry in communication.   I compared the strategy of getting angry with the strategy of baking a cake.   I explained her that if she wanted to bake a cake she would gather ingredients, order and sequence those ingredients, place it in the oven and wait for the cake to cook.  If those ingredients were incorrect, or the time in the oven was too short or too long then the cake would be a flop.  Too much opening of the oven door in anxious expectation, and the cake may…

Who does not like cakes?  A good cake is very desirable.  It will tantalize the taste buds, put a smile on your face and create a party in your mouth.  Social gatherings, parties and events all have one thing in common. People gather around to chat and enjoy a slice of your favourite cake, filled with the sugary goodness.   It is a compelling and almost irresistible thing to watch others indulge in delicious sweets and goodies.  What’s more, when you are offered a piece it is difficult to resist.  It is also hard to resist that second piece that needs to be finished off.  If the serving size is particularly large we think to ourselves ‘just this once’, or ‘I will burn it off with exercise’, or ‘I have to be sociable/polite/gracious’ etc.  This would not be an issue of course if this were a once off treat.  If there was a very small amount of processed sugar in our overall diet our body would handle this with ease.  If it was not for the compelling impulses of our sugar addiction, we could withstand the look of this type of food without excruciating effort.   When the holidays arrive…

I was working with a client that was struggling with feeling resentment in her life.  I could see that there was work to do in establishing shared values, however for now it was necessary to create a kinesthetic strategy that would enable her to at least deal better on an emotional level. We worked together to create the following neurological bridge. There were four components. Resentment Active understanding Enduring patience Loving peace Once anchored into her nervous system, we were able to establish a new pattern of behaviour. This simply meant that instead of being stuck in feeling resentment, she would automatically wind up feeling loving peace. She was grateful of the changes caused and she felt now that she would have a different outcome when she fell into that emotion in the future. This process took about 20 minutes to establish. I tested the outcome and was pleased to hear that it worked wonderfully. (She was able to create each emotion in her body and the transitions through the various emotions was rapid. She was an incredible learner). Each of us runs strategies in our own lives. Dealing with negative emotions can be a real challenge to some, and this may…

The struggles of ADDICTION   I was working with a man who struggled to separate Love from Sex.  He described that both seemed to him to be one and the same.  He described that when he had sex he felt loved.  When he was rejected sexually, he felt unloved and/or unlovable.   Therefore he had a rule in his life that sex equalled love.  One of the fundamental needs that we have as human beings is the need to be loved.  This led him towards a sex addiction.  He thought that he wanted/needed sex, when he was actually wanting/needing love.  This is not uncommon for one with similar addictions.   Addiction can be very strong, and the roots of addiction very deep.   There is a prevalent thought in the world that “once an addict, always an addict”.  I choose to believe that this statement is completely false.  It is my experience that when an addict is shown another way, that addiction, or any addiction can be overcome.  When the addict chooses another way to meet the need inside themselves, and consistently follow this new way, life will change.  The person simply needs to attach enough pain to the addiction,…