Transforming negative emotions
Breathing Life , Confidence , Influence , Love / November 30, 2015

We all have a need to be loved.  This is one of the fundamental needs that each human being shares.  What happens when we feel unloved?  When we feel unloved, and this feeling is reinforced over time, we can find ourselves in a very lonely place.  The feeling of not being loved can lead to the making of negative choices.  When we feel unloved we may sabotage our relationships.  When we feel unloved we may act and behave in ways that are immature or inappropriate.  When we feel unloved and then “act out”, and doings so can cause us to feel even worse.   It is a very negative spiral. I had a conversation with a man who explained that when he felt unloved he would spiral into negative patterns and negative behaviours.  He struggled with addiction and found that his life had become unmanageable at certain times in his life.  Furthermore he found that this feeling of being unloved seemed to start a negative spiral.  Something negative would happen and he would respond by feeling that he was not loved.   While in that negative place he would feed his addiction in an attempt to feel better, and act inappropriately.  This…

Who is responsible for the feelings of love in your body?

A couple of weeks ago I met with a young girl who explained to me that she was in a bit of trouble.  She was in trouble with the courts because she had stolen her mother’s car.  As I was speaking to this young lady I asked her about the relationship she has with her mother.  She explained to me that all her mother cares about is the foster children that she is looking after. I asked her why she stole the car.  She was unable to answer this question. I explained to her that I believe that all of us want to be loved and accepted.  I then asked her “do you think that you stole the car because you wanted your mothers’ attention?  Do you think that you may have done it because deep down you want your mother to love you. She thought about this for a time and then said, “Yes, I guess you are right”.  I then asked her how it was working out for her.  I asked her if her action had the desired result.  The look on her face indicated that her attempts to get her mother to show her love, really did…