If you want to be great, be grateful.  The world is full of highly successful people, who have accumulated a lot of money, a lot of property, a lot of material possessions and a lot of knowledge.  You do not have to travel far to discover that some of these people, though wealthy, are not happy in their core.  They are not living a life of fulfillment.  The same rings true for the poor and destitute.  Some have very meager means and yet radiate happiness and fulfillment, yet others are weighed down by the troubles of life.   Fulfillment really has little to do with prosperity. It has everything to do with how grateful we are, and there are some very basic and logical reasons for this.

For some Happiness does indeed come from money.  This is only up to a point.  Once our needs and some of our wants have been met there is no more happiness to be found in money.  Therefore we must look to find happiness in some other way.

As we consider the contrast between the fulfilled, and unfulfilled, let us consider the 4 ways that gratitude leads to a fulfilling life.

For the past year now I have turned my mind and heart to my creator and given thanks.  Giving thanks has become an integral part of my morning ritual and this practice has given me a great insight into the benefits of gratitude.

I have created the acronym HEAL to assist both myself and Others to remember the benefits of gratitude.

H stands for Healing.

E stands for enjoyment.

A stands for antidote.

L stands for Like yourself.

1. Healing.  Gratitude is a great healer.

The healing process consists of 1/ recognition.  2/ stop picking at it. 3/ forgiveness. 4/ gratitude.  I regularly teach the healing process with my clients and others. Sometimes teaching the steps, and other times just taking a Person through a process of imagination.  Having delivered this information many times, I am still amazed at the impact it has on others.  Much of the work I do with a person who is suffering pain in the present, all stems from unresolved issues from childhood.  Without healing, these things often manifest themselves years later as sickness or disease.  One NLP expert explained that he does regressive work with clients who have life threatening illnesses.  This man explained that by uncovering emotional trauma, and associated attitude and decision, and dealing with it, can actually slow, stop, or even eliminate the physical ailment.

This may sound too good to be true, and yet many people are not ready to look at old wounds, reopen old wounds, or even acknowledge those wounds.  So they stuff these thing deep down into the unconscious mind hoping that they will somehow magically disappear on their own.  Hanging onto past pain or stuffing it down inside may seem like the easier choice.  There is safety with what one knows, and the method used in the past to cope, is often the method used over and over again.  For many this is avoidance.  Giving a persons mental foundation a strong shake is very confronting and extremely scary.

The beauty of the work that I am engaged in is that I do not need to know the substance of the upset. I do not need to deal with the situation directly to get results.  I do not need one to remember an event or incident in detail, in order to re program the  mind.  All I need one to do is to be willing to follow the process as I lead them toward healing.  For this to occur a lot of rapport is needed.

I failed in one home, asking a man to trust me as I dealt with the emotional trauma he had experienced as a child.  I pushed him very hard, and expressed my confidence in him that he could not do it. I promised to I could help, and that we did not even have to revisit the actual incident.  He arose with an angry expression and pointing to the door firmly said, “Leave. Leave now”.  I did. He was not ready and I had pushed him too hard.  He was a big man so I happily complied, after all I was a guest in his home.

How did I know I pushed too hard.  His reaction was my answer.  He indicated that he did not believe that it was possible to heal from his past, and also did not want to let it go.  I struggled to understand why someone would want to hold onto this type of pain.  Would I have done it again the same way?   I think so.  It was perfect.  I gave him an opportunity, and he did not accept it at this time. This immediately told me that his belief is limited.  He does not actually believe that healing can take place, and that his emotional and psychological scars will always be there permanently…..until he decides to let them go.

What I have learned about gratitude is that it is the great healer.  Gratitude allows us to shortcut the whole healing process.  Gratitude is the final step in the healing process, therefore it stands to reason that one can be grateful before, during and after any trial.  Not grateful for the trial itself, but grateful for what you do have.  Grateful for the experience.  Grateful for the people, friends and family.  Grateful for the support received and lessons learned.  There are many others that I have helped to bring about healing who have welcomed the change.  They have welcomed new experiences and change.

Consider the poem, the touch of the masters hand.

2. Enjoyment. Gratitude helps us to enjoy the journey.

I arrived home after a ‘priming’ session and the following thought popped into my mind.  The thought was, ‘he who has a grateful heart will enjoy the journey, not just the end result’.

I was thinking about my goals and aspirations. I was thinking about the work that was required to make the necessary changes in my life. Overcoming weaknesses.  Turning weaknesses into strengths. Ironing out dis-empowering thoughts and attitudes. Consistently pushing my mind, body and spirit to new levels of achievement and fulfillment.

I was so focused on my goals, and these goals included a prayer of gratitude that I was performing for about 10 minutes each morning.  This simple practice enabled me to joy the process of change. I was enjoying the journey.

All too often we see people working tirelessly toward a goal and there seems to be very little if any enjoyment. The end goal can become such a strong focus that working toward that goal can overtake every thought and action.  We really can get to the end of our life and say, ‘what a ride’.

My Mother-in-law whom I love stated, “I was feeling overwhelmed and I remember thinking that life is so heavy and hard, and a voice came into my mind and said, ‘no – life is a joy and then you live’ “.

Life is a joy.  When we are grateful, our attitude is shifted. We begin looking for more that we are grateful for, we begin to consider not just the good times, but the hardship also.

After doing my gratitude prayers for about 6 weeks my prayers began to change. I became really grateful for the challenges and hardships in life, and I found that my levels of enjoyment increased.  I realised that difficult situations, challenges, hardship and such creates strength of character.

Consider a butterfly wrapped tightly in its cocoon.  The developing chrysalis must struggle with all its might to break out of its confinement.  This act of breaking through. This adversity strengthens the butterfly’s wings to allow it to fly.  If that adversity was removed the butterfly may never develop the necessary strength to fly.

Just as a butterfly needs adversity, so do you and I. As adversity encroaches upon it threatens to envelope us all in a cocoon of dis-empowerment.  Reaction to adversity is different for different people.  Some are frozen with fear.  Fear can cause us to shrink, or stop trying because it is so hard.  Others consider that the requirements are too steep, and the way too difficult.  Some are lazy and don’t even try.  The size and severity of the issue can cause others to focus on their own lack and limitations.  Yet others seem to blast through every obstacle, and conquer every challenge.  Adversity is to us, what a cocoon is to a chrysalis.  Adversity strengthens us, and invites us to take massive action.  The struggle to break free does not suggest that there is something wrong with us.  Just the opposite is true. All struggle has a positive intention, and that is to force us to grow and develop.

Why should we be grateful for adversity? Adversity teaches us about our true nature.  Adversity helps us to increase our skill, power, passion, energy, motivation, determination and humor.  The greater the adversity, the greater is the opportunity for greatness.  Be grateful for the adversity in your life.  When we realise this we can understand the words of Maryanne Williamson who said,

Our deepest fear….

I hear you ask. How can I enjoy the journey when I’m passing through my nemesis. How can I enjoy life when love is lost, when my world is shattered through death and pain?  How do I enjoy the journey when I’m standing in the fiery furnace of affliction.

The only suggestion is that If you and I look for the positive learnings in every situation, we will find some reason to enjoy the adventure. We can turn all of life into a growth experience. We will look back on the difficult times in our lives with the realisation that the hardship of life created us.

I am so grateful for those people who have done their best to destroy my life and relationships. I am grateful for my personal struggles and hardships.  Those people and situations created me.  Ralph Waldo Emerson believed that gratitude should be a habit, and that we should give gratitude for all things.  I take that to mean we should be grateful for both the good and the bad. For the light and the dark. For the victory and the failure.  He said, “Cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you, and to give thanks continuously. And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude.”

3. Antidote.  Gratitude is the antidote for pride and ego.

Pride can be both a positive and a negative thing.  Pride in self is a good thing so long as you compare yourself with our yourself. When we begin to compare ourselves with other, and create in our mind a Heirache of based on economics, race, religion, health, and other factors, this almost always leads to pride.  To think that we are better, or not as good as another.  This pride will establish for us a social ‘pecking order’.  In the chicken pen nature has a way of establishing an order.   There is a chicken, the top chicken that no other chicken will peck.  That chicken has the right to peck whichever chicken it chooses.  The second chicken in this ‘pecking order’ is able to peck any other chicken other than the top chicken.  The top chicken will occasionally peck this chicken to maintain the order.   The third chicken is able to peck any chicken other than the top chicken and chicken number 2.  This pattern continues all the way down through the social rank structure of the chickens until we arrive at the straggly looking chicken who is at the bottom of the ‘pecking order’. This chicken is pecked by every other chicken and does not have the right to peck any other chicken.  Pride is just like this ‘pecking order’ in chickens.  Pride says, ‘I am better than you because……(fill in the blank)’.  In economic terms this may mean that if I have more money than you than I am better than you. If I have knowledge about how to invest I am better than you.  If I have better work ethics, or I am in a higher position therefore I am better than you.

I have a friend at work who prides himself in his work ethics.  He regularly works 9-10 hours a day, and is only paid for 8.  Therefore when he compares himself with those who work 8 hours or sometimes less, and compares work ethics he is surely better.  He does not say anything directly about this however there is often an undertone of disapproval for what he considers poor work ethics.

Pride in physical health means that if my body looks good, and I have a fit and healthy body than I have more motivation, more drive and ambition and therefore I am better than you.  I have heard people speak unkindly of a person with a weight issue.  They will immediately and usually judge that person as being lazy, useless or immoral. With the work that I am doing I am finding that being overweight is not always a result of diet choices and lack of exercises.  More often than not there are emotional reasons, or unresolved issues from the past that have manifested themselves in this way.  When we judge another person with strong judgement in this way, it is the result of pride.

The central feature of pride is enmity.  Enmity is hostility to , hatred toward or a state of opposition.  They are often closed off to the idea of God, or the universe or even their own higher consciousness directing their course in life.  Think once again of the pecking order.  Ask yourself the following questions.  Is one race better than another?  What about ways of doing things.  What about priorities. What about families.

There is a great poem called the indispensable man that looks at this idea, and held us to humble our soul.

Sometime when you’re feeling important;
Sometime when your ego ‘s in bloom;
Sometime when you take it for granted,
You’re the best qualified in the room:
Sometime when you feel that your going,
Would leave an unfillable hole,
Just follow these simple instructions,
And see how they humble your soul.  

Take a bucket and fill it with water,
Put your hand in it up to the wrist,
Pull it out and the hole that’s remaining,
Is a measure of how much you’ll be missed.
You can splash all you wish when you enter,
You may stir up the water galore,
But stop, and you’ll find that in no time,
It looks quite the same as before.  

The moral of this quaint example,
Is to do just the best that you can,
Be proud of yourself but remember,
There’s no indispensable man.

Next is ego.  Dr Wayne’s Dyer created an acronym to explain how ego affects each of us.  Those of you who know Dr Dyer are aware of his spiritual roots.  While Dr Dyer did not ascribe to any particular religion, he did believe in God, a higher power and the universe. He believed that there was something greater than we are.  He spoke about the creation of life and the perfection of God as seen in a new born child.  Then he spoke about how we as parent have the audacity to think that somehow we can do a better job, than the perfection of Gods work.  He stated that the Ego takes over.  He stated that the word Ego. E G O stands for Edge God Out. He taught that many of the issues and problems we face in life, in our families, in our communities and in the world come back to he fact that we have effectively Edged God Out.

If you want to believe this or not does not really matter. What matters is the effect of gratitude to humble the soul, and acknowledge something greater than we are.  Gratitude is the antidote for pride and ego.

Emerson wrote “Every man is my superior in some way.  In that I learn of him”.

Gratitude allows us to see the value and worth in every living soul. It allows us to see things like the master.

The poem, “the touch of the masters hand will emphasize this point”.

Twas battered and scarred, and the auctioneer
thought it scarcely worth his while to waste much time on the old violin,
but held it up with a smile; “What am I bidden, good folks,” he cried,
“Who’ll start the bidding for me?” “A dollar, a dollar”; then two!” “Only
two? Two dollars, and who’ll make it three? Three dollars, once; three
dollars twice; going for three..” But no, from the room, far back, a
gray-haired man came forward and picked up the bow; Then, wiping the dust
from the old violin, and tightening the loose strings, he played a melody
pure and sweet as caroling angel sings.

And many a man with life out of tune, and battered and scarred with sin,
Is auctioned cheap to the thoughtless crowd, much like the old violin, A
“mess of pottage,” a glass of wine; a game – and he travels on. “He is
going” once, and “going twice, He’s going and almost gone.” But the Master
comes, and the foolish crowd never can quite understand the worth of a soul
and the change that’s wrought by the touch of the Master’s hand.

4. Love. Gratitude helps us to like ourselves, and love others.

When there is gratitude in our hearts, it is easier to remain positive about who we are.  When we are grateful we acknowledge that in our lives we have been recipients of grace.  We have a heart beating in our chest that we did nothing to deserve.  We have a body that may be vibrant and strong that was given to us.   Our heart and our bodies are gifts from God, or the universe or from our parents.  When we are grateful for our bodies, gratitude moves beyond us and into the world around us.

When we have gratitude in our heart, we like ourselves, and are secure about who we are, it is easy to project acceptance and interest in other people.  Showing genuine interest in others softens hearts, and creates an environment where others tend to like us also.  Gratitude takes the focus off the self, and puts the focus where it should be, and that is, onto other people and the world around us.  Gratitude helps us to take a genuine interest in other people, and to look after the needs of the spirit.  Those needs are for service and growth.

When our highest motives become about service and growth, the natural consequence is the development of a great character.  It is easy to like and respect someone who has great character, and especially when that person is yourself.  When we are grateful we desire to fulfill the needs of the spirit and this will take us on a journey of self discovery.

There was once a church community who had at its head a leader of kindness and generosity.   He had served and given of himself tirelessly to lift and help and strengthen those within his influence for about 33 years.  A meeting was held and in this meeting a new younger leader was being called upon to take his place.  During the meeting he was thanked for the mighty service that he had rendered and the lives that had been touched by his devotion and love.  During the meeting, one who was presiding asked if members of the audience would stand if it was appropriate for them to do so. He asked for all those who had a personal one on one meeting with this man to please stand and remain standing.  He asked for those who had received a blessing at his hand to stand.  He asked for those who had spoken on the phone personally with this man to stand.  (One by one the members of this congregation of almost 9000 began to stand up).  He continued by asking for those who had been given personal council or direction.  He asked for those who had received coaching and mentoring from this man to stand and stay standing.  Finally he asked for all those who had listened to inspired council, made improvements to their lives and overcome personal challenges as a result of listening to this man to stand up.  It was reported that everyone in that congregation was standing up.  Through tears this church leader simply said “Thank-you”.

A service minded person is concerned with the needs of others.  They give to charity.  They are generous with their time and talents. They desire to help and serve and lift others, and they do it freely.  Service helps us to crowd out the selfish and narcissistic elements of our nature, and rather gives us opportunity to share beyond ourselves.  When we are generous with our words, substance, time, talents and energy, we get to experience a rich and deep level of fulfillment.

Growth is the second need of the spirit.  One concerned with personal growth likewise is interested in the world, and other people.  As they listen to others and they grow intellectually, emotionally and other areas of their life.  As they expand their influence, they grow. As they learn more skills and abilities they grow.  Growth also leads to a rich and deep level of fulfillment.

Service and growth are the key to draw other people to us. This generosity of spirit affords us the development of a magnetic personality, charisma and love.  Like minded people are attracted to such things, and this type of person is often loved and revered by family, loved ones, their local communities and even the world.

I learned a profound truth lately on what it means to speak kindly of others. This comes back to generosity of language. As we look for the positive in others, speaking with generosity continually, this will have a profound effect on how others see us.