I was life coaching a woman who was allowing her husband to continually push her buttons.  She was separated and soon to be divorced.  This woman had explained to me that just seeing her husband sent her into a tail spin.

I had her imagine that he was in front of her now.  Her whole body changed.  The look on her face changed.  Her shoulders drooped, the corners of her mouth pulled toward the ground and she almost looked as though she was physically ill.  (She had created an anchor that when she saw him {or imagined she saw him} negative feeling entered her body).

It was obvious to me that she was giving up her personal power and allowing herself to be effected emotionally to a large degree.  As many do, she was trapped in blame.  She was very busy blaming him for the way the relationship was turning out.

I was planning at this point to have a lengthy conversation to help her understand that she was creating the feelings in her body.  That she was completely responsible for her feelings of anger, frustration and hurt etc.  (She created these feelings again while I was with her just by imagining him).

Just before I had a big conversation with her I which I was going to ask question about how other were making her feel.  (All the while wanting her to come to the realisation that she alone was responsible for the feelings in her body).  While I was about to begin asking these questions she told me a story.

She had attended a seminar several years earlier in which she had a learning experience.  She had learned that she was completely responsible for her life and choices.  She learned that she had been giving up her personal power to other people for her whole life.  She told me that she could remember crying as the realisation came to her that she was in charge of her life.  She had control.  As she related this story I saw her physically change from uncertain and timid, to self assured and determined.  At this moment when i observed this change I touched her on the left shoulder.

I had her recall several other such empowering moments in her life.  These moments were directly related to the understanding that she was in the driver seat of her emotions.  Each time I saw her reconnect with this empowering idea I touched her on the left shoulder.  (Creating an anchor of empowerment).

After creating this emotional state for empowerment in her I touched her on the left shoulder again, firing off the anchor.  She stood there tall and confident, empowered by the certain knowledge that she was in control.   After I fired off the anchor of empowerment I asked her to Imagine her husband standing right in front of her again.  I kept the anchor on as she saw him in her imagination right in front of her.  Her physiology and face remained strong.  She was no longer affected and stated that she did not feel anything bad.  Instead she explained she felt calm.  I said, “That’s right, you feel calm, and you will continue to feel calm when you think of his face or when he comes to visit or when you see him.  There will be a calm feeling in your body.  You are in control of the way that you feel”.I then released the anchor.

Together we had created a new anchor that when she saw his face she felt calm and empowered.  The test the process we invited him back three more times (in her imagination of course), and each time she saw him she was ok.  Gone were those feelings of negativity and downheartedness.

She felt empowered to deal with the the relationship challenges that she would continue to face.

If we are not careful and neglect to take charge of the negative anchors in our lives, the associated negativity could spiral us down to greater depths of sadness and despair.  When we take charge of our emotions and channel our positivity in a way that creates powerful anchors in our lives, we begin to take the high road toward transformation and success.