I wrote an article several months ago about gratitude.  A lot has changed in my world since this time and therefore as I prepare for my Gratitude workshop, I felt it appropriate to talk about gratitude as someone who has focused consistently on this principle now for over 12 months.

The commitment that I made was to say a prayer of gratitude every morning.  When I first began this practice I was only giving gratitude for the good things in my life.  I was only grateful for my blessing.  I was only grateful for the people who love and support me.  I was only grateful for my positive emotions, for my success in financial pursuits, and the health and vitality that I enjoyed.

Then something happened.  I was running with my dog and a thought come into my mind and a spiritual feeling entered my body.  The thought was “One that has a gratitude heart, will enjoy the journey, not just the end result”.  What changed at this time was that I had been thinking about the hardships of life.  I was thinking about the rejection that I had experienced.  I was thinking about the things in my life that were not working.  I was thinking about the difficulty and the struggle of life.

It is easy to be grateful for that which we are good at.  It is easy to be grateful when the universe gives.  It is easy to be grateful when there is great health, lots of money, loving relationships and a closeness to the Universe, or God or life.

It is not so easy when we have been rejected, hurt or despised.  It is not so easy when a health challenge comes along, especially when it is life threatening.  It’s not so easy when going through a divorce or separation.  It is not so easy when you feel alone, and that your prayers are not making it through the ceiling.

I had only being doing my gratitude prayers for a short period of time, perhaps 2 months, when I realised that I had only been grateful for the good and the positive.  I recognised that to only focus on the good and the positive creates a much skewed view of life.  I did not want to be the type of person who refuses to see the negative, the hardship or the struggles of life.  I was not wanting to live in a state of denial.  I did not want to pretend that the world is not full of disappointment.

Yet, something else emerged as I thought about being grateful for my hardship and struggles.  I found that hardship and struggles took on a different meaning.  It was as if I was doing a meaning re-frame on myself.  It was as if all the negative experiences in my life took on a positive meaning.  I leaned that the universe has always had a positive intention for me.  At that moment all my struggles’, pain, hardship, failures and floors took on a positive meaning.

I felt that being grateful for these negative influences in my life actually had a greater impact than being grateful for the positive things in my life.  From that time I have included gratitude for failure, defeat, fear, hardship, personal burdens, deficiencies of mind and body.  My gratitude prayers have become more meaningful and real.

Furthermore I began to heal, I mean really heal.

I teach that there are four steps in the healing process.

The first is Recognition.  We need to recognise that there is a problem, challenge or weakness that has been sent to destroy our peace of mind, and/or our peace of conscience.  Most people recognise the issue, however many ask dis-empowering questions such as, “Why is this happening to me?”, or “Why do I always get hurt?”, or “Why don’t I ever learn”.  Instead think of empowering questions that you can ask yourself.  Such as “What am I supposed to learn from this experience?”, or “how can I deal with this situation in the most positive way?”.

The second step is to “Stop Picking at it”.  We do this by leaving it alone.  Just like a physical wound, it must be left alone in order to heal.  The same is true with an emotional or spiritual wound.  With time and patience healing will take place.  That healing can be sped up by not picking at it.  This means that we no longer spend time and energy thinking about it, or telling the story to others.  Dragging distressing stories up from the past can reopen wounds.  The emotion of a negative experience is revisited with each mental recreation of the event, or with each retelling of the story, and this constant revisiting of negative emotions creates a negative anchor.  Creating strong negative anchors can halt progress, and keep a person locking into a negative mindset.  Visiting the same negative emotion again, and again, and again will inhibit the healing process.  Alternately, if you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.  Therefore if you change the way you look this significant negative event (story), then the story will change.  For example one could focus on the leanings of a situation, or the strength of character that was created, or consider the opportunities that are present as they move into the future.  Let the old version of the story die, and instead create a new story about lessons learned, challenges overcome, and fights won.  Create a compelling life and future by changing the meaning to one that promotes future growth and prosperity.

The third step is forgiveness.

The fourth step is gratitude.

As I have contemplated and used this healing process in my own life I have come to realise that gratitude shortcuts the process.  Gratitude focusses the mind and heart automatically on those things that positive in any given situation.  I firmly believe that if we have enough gratitude in our hearts we can find the ‘silver lining’ in every situation.

Gratitude really is the key to having a fantastic past, a wonderful present and a bright and compelling future.  Therefore if life gives you eggs, make a Pavlova.  Here is a poem called DON’T QUIT.  There are many situations in life in which a person could give up.  Many would say that a decision to give up is justifiable in certain situations, however the story books are full of exceptional people who showed us that a winning attitude is your number one ally for success.  Many have refused to quit and therefore won the prize of victory.

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you’re trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit-
Rest if you must, but don’t you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a fellow turns about
When he might have won had he stuck it out.
Don’t give up though the pace seems slow –
You may succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than
It seems to a faint and faltering man;
Often the struggler has given up
When he might have captured the victor’s cup;
And he learned too late when the night came down,
How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out –
The silver tint in the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It might be near when it seems afar;
So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit –
It’s when things seem worst that you must not quit

Therefore when things go wrong, please don’t give up.  Find a way to heal.  AccessWorldSeminars can help.  I want to promise you that no matter what you have done, and not matter what has been done to you.  No matter how fall you have fallen.  No matter what hand you have been dealt, this healing is real.