We all have a need to be loved. We all want to feel deeply loved by another person and share something unique and special. We want that person to love the entirety of us as a person. We want that person to love our good and noble qualities, and to be patient with and love us through our shortfalls and failings. To offer loving support until we iron out our weaknesses, and turn these weaknesses into strengths. We want the kind of love that enables us to grow and expand, while trusting implicitly in the ongoing support of our true friend and lover.

The reality of mortality is that all of us have weaknesses and shortcomings. We may desire to always be supporting, loving, kind and generous, only to find that their is always a gap between where we are and where we would like to be. This gap keeps us yearning for improvement and growth. Setting our personal goal as mastery in the area of relationships keeps us continually striving. Love is the reward.

Remember the first rule of mastery is to realise that there is no mastery, only increments of excellence.

Mastery in relationships means continual growth, and desiring for the comfort and happiness of ones companion to be our primary consideration.

Love is a feeling. Certainly love can be characterised in so many ways and with multiple definitions. Yet, the most fundamental concept of love, is that it is a feeling. Love is a feeling that is shared between two people, and this feeling can grow very deep over time. It is a feeling that dispels fear, emptiness, confusion and indecision. It is a feeling which expands and deepens with time. Love is a feeling that gets stronger and stronger. It brings two people closer and closer, as the two become one. Love is a unifying power that binds husbands and wives together with a powerful bond that will withstand the pressures, challenges and adversities of life.

Whilst deep love is the desire of our heart, many people settle for connection. They want love, yet settle for connection. I have heard the following justifications.

“It’s better than being alone”.
“I don’t believe in love”.
“Happily ever after is a fairy tale”.
“Relationships are hard/unfulfilling”.
“I’m just not meant to have a loving relationship”
“Why would anyone get married”
“Marriage leads to divorce”.

Our attitude and beliefs matter very much. They determine our actions and behaviours toward our spouse. They effect our ability to continually love and nurture our relationship with our lover.

For myself, I often plan seminars, provide coaching sessions and support others in need. During these times throughout my day I need to access the emotion of love in my body. (In order to influence another person with love, I need to lead them into the feeling of love). I do this by thinking about my wife Rebecca. In my imagination we are cuddling each other in bed. Her head is on my chest and I am gently stroking her hair. When I visualise this scene I feel a wonderful feeling go through my body. This is the feeling of love.

I just would like my valentine to know how much I love her. When I am with her I feel of her love. When I am working I simply just imagine being with her and I immediately feel love in my body. Rebecca helps me to bring love to other people. She helps me to find resources within my life that did not exist before she came into it.

I have a lot of great tools for change, and I have a heap of techniques that I have learned. All of these would be less effective if not for the love of my life. She has taught me a depth of love that I never knew existed. She has assisted me unlock the deepest part of myself and I am forever grateful for her patience and love.

Furthermore, Rebecca and I are not settling for connection. We are not settling for a tolerance for each other. We are not settling for average or mediocre. We are not even settling for phenomenal. What if love could even be deeper than that?

My message to Rebecca.
Rebecca. I want you to know that I love you so very much. You are the most beautiful woman in the world. You bring joy to my life and warmth to my heart. Your smile lights me up inside and fills me with love. Thank you for the almost ten years of kindness, support, trust and love. You have impacted my life in so many wonderful ways that I cannot fully express adequate gratitude. The feelings of love that I feel for you are stronger today than ever before. That is how I know that you and I are meant to be. You are my best friend. My most important relationship. You are my all.
To steal a line from my favourite movie as a teenager ‘Willow’. “You are my sun, my moon, my starlit sky. Without you I dwell in darkness”.