We all have a need to be loved.  This is one of the fundamental needs that each human being shares.  What happens when we feel unloved?  When we feel unloved, and this feeling is reinforced over time, we can find ourselves in a very lonely place.  The feeling of not being loved can lead to the making of negative choices.  When we feel unloved we may sabotage our relationships.  When we feel unloved we may act and behave in ways that are immature or inappropriate.  When we feel unloved and then “act out”, and doings so can cause us to feel even worse.   It is a very negative spiral.

I had a conversation with a man who explained that when he felt unloved he would spiral into negative patterns and negative behaviours.  He struggled with addiction and found that his life had become unmanageable at certain times in his life.  Furthermore he found that this feeling of being unloved seemed to start a negative spiral.  Something negative would happen and he would respond by feeling that he was not loved.   While in that negative place he would feed his addiction in an attempt to feel better, and act inappropriately.  This would cause him to feel unlovable.  (Who would love someone who behaves in this way?).  While in this feeling he would then act more inappropriately and the negative cycle continued.

This negative pattern would last for hours, days or even weeks.  He agreed that the strategy that he was currently using to deal with this issue in his life was really destructive.  He wanted to change and I felt that he was determined to do so.

I then proceeded to use a kinaesthetic strategy to assist him.  I had used the process before and yet this time it was awesome.  I was able to create a series of four anchors in which I created a new emotion based neurological pathway in his brain.

Instead of being stuck, or remaining in the feelings of being unloved or unlovable, I explained that this strategy would enable him to move rapidly through four steps.  These were steps that he designed, and that he created.

1/            Feeling unloved.

2/            Peaceful self-confidence.

3/            Driven confidence

4/            Expanding love.

After establishing and anchoring each emotion it was time to begin the process.  As I concluded the process both of us felt each emotion very intensely and it was a profound experience.  I saw him transform in that moment.

I explained to him that he would no longer remain for long periods of time in step 1. (Feeling unloved).  Now, he would only be there for a very short amount of time, and then he would chain through the emotions and end up feeling expanding love.   A new neural pathway had been created.  This specific challenge in his life would no longer have an unconscious hold on his life.  As we concluded I saw tears roll down his cheek.

Together we celebrated this success.  He was absolutely, tremendously, overwhelmingly excited.