Breathing Life - Joshua Roy's Blog

When I was 14 years old I had a stuttering issue.  I found it very difficult to communicate, especially in large groups.  The worst letters for me were W’s and R’s. I found this to be huge hurdle that was inhibiting my ability to make friends, enjoy social settings and enjoy the experience of being a teenager. It was around this time that I participated in my first seminar.  It was a 4 day seminar that ran for long hours.  During this seminar I learned about affirmations and the power of the mind.  After this seminar I decided that I had the power to control my mind and speech by repeating the affirmation, “I speak clearly and well”. Each time I found myself with in group of people and felt that I had something to contribute I repeated the words in my mind, “I speak clearly and well”.  I would then speak, and unfortunately much of the time my words would come out wrong. I would stutter and stammer and trip over the words. Often I was annoyed or frustrated at the inability I had to manage and control my tongue. Often I was frustrated with myself and would repeat…

Russian Psychologist Ivan Pavlov learned that Dogs salivate at the sight of food.  He retrained this automatic response to salivate, by ringing a bell immediately before feeding time.  This was repeated over and over again.  These dogs were trained that the sound of a bell meant that food was on its way.  In preparation for the food the dogs began to salivate.  Because they believed that food was on its way, over time the sound of the bell alone would cause the dogs to begin to salivate. What if you could train your autonomic nervous system?  The autonomic nervous system is broken up into two main parts.  The sympathetic nervous system that controls our fight/flight response?  And the parasympathetic nervous system that controls our appetite and sexual desire. These are automatic responses to stimuli. It is believed that self-control is lowered when we are sleep deprived or low amounts of glycogen in the body. When stimulus hits one of those 4 responses, we immediately have an automatic response. Anger (fight), Fear (flight), lust (sexual desire), hunger (gluttony). Think about antisocial behaviour and crime.  Is not all of crime attached to one of these primal functions? How then can we train our autonomic nervous system to…

As a teenager I had a stutter, and the worst fear in my world was speaking in front of a group of people.  I recall that at age 12 or 13 I was assigned to speak in front of a class in a debate.  The fear was so intense and I thought that I would avoid doing this most uncomfortable thing (public speaking) at all cost.  As it turned out I did not have to give that talk.  I was in a car accident that incapacitated me for about a week.  As a result I avoided this speaking assignment.  I was in hospital and in pain, yet I was happy that I did not have to face my big fear of public speaking.  I was happy that I did not have to do something that would likely embarrass me, cause me yet another failure, and leave me feeling fearful and low. Looking back I realised that my unconscious mind helped me to avoid this event by creating an accident.  Looking back I realised that fear and limitation were ruling my life and my outcomes.  I felt like I was not in charge of my life, and that my unconscious mind…

There once was a man who walked into a doctors surgery. The doctor asked him, “what seems to be the problem?” The man replied, “no one listens to me, it’s like I’ not even here”. The doctor shouted toward the hallway, “NEXT”. Some feel like they just don’t matter, yet others seem to live in the spotlight. It is as if they are on a joyous adventure in which they, the main character enjoy all the rich abundance of life. Opportunities seem to find them and things seem to fall into their lap. Some even fall into the trap of believing that they are indispensable. The poet wrote these words about the indispensable man. Sometimes when you’re feeling important, when your ego is in elegant bloom, when you naturally take it for granted that you are the best in the room, when you feel that your sudden departure would leave an unfillable hole, just follow this simple example and see how it humbles your soul. Take a bucket and fill it with water. Put your hand in up to your wrist. Remove it, and the hole remaining is a measure of how you,ll be missed. You can splash all you…

A few months ago my daughter went for her driving test, and failed. As you can imagine she was very upset. She has a wonderful personality and when she is angry, she expresses it openly. She has done all her life. She began telling me about why she did not get the licence. She explained that she had failed to do a head check when changing lanes, and that she changed lanes in the middle of a 2 land round-a-bout. The instructor called it a ‘critical error’ and immediately terminated the remainder of the driving test. She was only 10 minutes into the test. In her anger she told me how ‘stupid’ the driving instructor was. She told that the road was unfamiliar, and that she was not as alert as she could have been. I decided to leave the ‘responsibility’ frame alone. The ‘responsibility’ frame is governed by ’cause and effect’. The question we must all constantly ask ourselves is, am I at cause in this situation, or am I at the effect of it. Someone who lives in ’cause’ takes full responsibility for everything that shows up in their world. Someone living in ‘effect’ will look for someone, or…

I was doing a priming session with a friend today and we were discussing focus and energy. He has just commenced a new relationship and is very excited about it, and focused on it. This is a great thing, and he is really enjoying the friendship and love that he is creating. He is focused so much on this relationship that it has taken up all of his time. He is not currently employed or studying and is solely enjoying the relationship.  This heavy investment into the relationship is creating a situation in which he has depleted most of his savings.  Reality struck home when he realised that the funds were getting low, and he needed some extra money for upcoming events and challenges. The bar for a Man is to be a leader, lover and provider. Whilst he is hitting the mark by being a lover, this is only one of the three areas in which he needs to take care of if he is going to be truly happy, and if he is going to have a happy partner. As an excellent lover, he is able to provide love and tenderness to his girlfriend, however this alone will not put…

There are three resistors to mental effectiveness. They are fear, laziness and limited self-belief.   I wanted to write a little about fear. In particular the fear of failure. Fear can be good or bad depending on the context.  Fear can keep us safe, but fear can also prevent us from achieving our potential.   Fear of failure in business can cause one to shy away from making an attempt, taking risks, or having a go. Failure can lead to financial setbacks, or great loss such as foreclosure, or bankruptcy. Many people have started businesses, only to go out of business.  Fear stops people from taking out a loan to grow the business, spending money on advertising or employing staff. Fear can and will keep you from getting started, and fear can also keep the business small.   Fear of failure in relationships may prevent us from being open to the possibility of a relationship.  Those in a relationship may find that they unconsciously self-sabotage that relationship, or reject the other person first, for fear that they themselves will be rejected.  Failure to meet our responsibilities in a relationship may likewise be costly. If we neglect our relationship in the pursuit…

Life can be emotionally challenging at times.  It can be hard to enjoy life when we feel like we have failed, or we feel like we let ourselves and others down.  One way to mitigate failure is to take fewer risks, or to take smaller risks.  One way to achieve this is by not trying.  Another way is to shrink and become insignificant. When you have failed at something that you did not put much effort into, the failure seems to be not so bad.  The failure is half expected.  Limited emotional investment, is the unconscious minds natural built in protection against negative emotions.  When things are not going well, we will find a way to protect ourselves from intense negative emotions.  After all, the build up of these intense negative emotions can lead to depression, anxiety and other mental health conditions.  Our unconscious mind knows this and wants to help is.  This is achieved by shutting down the feeling component of our nature. The issue with the is that by shutting down our emotions and eliminating these negative feelings, our positive feelings are also affected. One woman described her experience of life was like being a ‘zombi’.  She told…

Why don’t we see more miracles in our world?  The answer is clear, “it is because of disbelief”.  Miracles only occur as a result of strong belief. Christianity teaches that with faith “all things are possible”. Faith is not just a passive belief, it is a principle of action. On Sunday a woman whom I know was having car issues and needed to get home.  I am not a mechanic and yet offered to help.  Others came to give aid also.  After about half an hour and numerous attempts to start the car, it still would not start.  Her husband was at work and she had four young children with her and needed to get them home.  It was suggested that we leave the car and give her a ride home, knowing they could return with a mechanic at a future time.  Another suggestion was to pray that the car would work so she could get home. The though in my mind was that we had been trying to start the car without success for half an hour.  The next though was “how could prayer help?”  I caught myself in this thought and then decided “we need the faith of…

I wrote an article several months ago about gratitude.  A lot has changed in my world since this time and therefore as I prepare for my Gratitude workshop, I felt it appropriate to talk about gratitude as someone who has focused consistently on this principle now for over 12 months. The commitment that I made was to say a prayer of gratitude every morning.  When I first began this practice I was only giving gratitude for the good things in my life.  I was only grateful for my blessing.  I was only grateful for the people who love and support me.  I was only grateful for my positive emotions, for my success in financial pursuits, and the health and vitality that I enjoyed. Then something happened.  I was running with my dog and a thought come into my mind and a spiritual feeling entered my body.  The thought was “One that has a gratitude heart, will enjoy the journey, not just the end result”.  What changed at this time was that I had been thinking about the hardships of life.  I was thinking about the rejection that I had experienced.  I was thinking about the things in my life that…