Breathing Life - Joshua Roy's Blog

When I was 14 years old I had a stuttering issue.  I found it very difficult to communicate, especially in large groups.  The worst letters for me were W’s and R’s. I found this to be huge hurdle that was inhibiting my ability to make friends, enjoy social settings and enjoy the experience of being a teenager. It was around this time that I participated in my first seminar.  It was a 4 day seminar that ran for long hours.  During this seminar I learned about affirmations and the power of the mind.  After this seminar I decided that I had the power to control my mind and speech by repeating the affirmation, “I speak clearly and well”. Each time I found myself with in group of people and felt that I had something to contribute I repeated the words in my mind, “I speak clearly and well”.  I would then speak, and unfortunately much of the time my words would come out wrong. I would stutter and stammer and trip over the words. Often I was annoyed or frustrated at the inability I had to manage and control my tongue. Often I was frustrated with myself and would repeat…

Russian Psychologist Ivan Pavlov learned that Dogs salivate at the sight of food.  He retrained this automatic response to salivate, by ringing a bell immediately before feeding time.  This was repeated over and over again.  These dogs were trained that the sound of a bell meant that food was on its way.  In preparation for the food the dogs began to salivate.  Because they believed that food was on its way, over time the sound of the bell alone would cause the dogs to begin to salivate. What if you could train your autonomic nervous system?  The autonomic nervous system is broken up into two main parts.  The sympathetic nervous system that controls our fight/flight response?  And the parasympathetic nervous system that controls our appetite and sexual desire. These are automatic responses to stimuli. It is believed that self-control is lowered when we are sleep deprived or low amounts of glycogen in the body. When stimulus hits one of those 4 responses, we immediately have an automatic response. Anger (fight), Fear (flight), lust (sexual desire), hunger (gluttony). Think about antisocial behaviour and crime.  Is not all of crime attached to one of these primal functions? How then can we train our autonomic nervous system to…

I had a friend visit come to me on Sunday and tell me he had a headache.  He told me that it had been with him all day and that he could not seem to shake it. I was happy to help.  We used 3 techniques and the headache was completely gone. As I have thought about this experience I have come up with 4 steps that ensure that you will eliminate pain from your body. 1/ First he came and asked for help. 2/ He believed that the process would work. 3/ He did the process in a positive way. 4/ The first technique did not fully resolve the issue, so I had him continue to work and utilised a 2nd and a 3rd technique. What do we learn?  1.  Ask for help.  If you want to get past something, you may not have the tools and beliefs to overcome it on your own.  Often we can lean on someone who has a different level of knowledge and experience.  This requires humility and a realisation that we do not know it all.  Sometimes this will also cost us time, money, effort and energy.  It may cost us our pride and ego. 2.  Believe…

As a teenager I had a stutter, and the worst fear in my world was speaking in front of a group of people.  I recall that at age 12 or 13 I was assigned to speak in front of a class in a debate.  The fear was so intense and I thought that I would avoid doing this most uncomfortable thing (public speaking) at all cost.  As it turned out I did not have to give that talk.  I was in a car accident that incapacitated me for about a week.  As a result I avoided this speaking assignment.  I was in hospital and in pain, yet I was happy that I did not have to face my big fear of public speaking.  I was happy that I did not have to do something that would likely embarrass me, cause me yet another failure, and leave me feeling fearful and low. Looking back I realised that my unconscious mind helped me to avoid this event by creating an accident.  Looking back I realised that fear and limitation were ruling my life and my outcomes.  I felt like I was not in charge of my life, and that my unconscious mind…

Well it seems to me that when you change the way you use your body, life changes……for a time.  Anything new becomes old over time.  It really does not matter what it is.  Any big change to your life, once repeated about 1000 times becomes normal.  Wow who would have thought that jumping with excitement would become like breathing or riding a bike.  That it would become normal to be excited every day. How amazing is that?  looking back over the last 18 months of my life have been like a dream. Life has changed more dramatically than ever before. It really is such an inspiration to myself and others and as a result many new opportunities have presented themselves. It really is incredible that Contributing to the lives of so many other people, coupled with personal growth has really produced a high level of fulfilment. Much joy is the result of giving so much of myself to others.  Furthermore the consistency of focus on the things that matter most in life has also been incredible, and has assisted with the feelings of fulfilment. Now it is time to move to the next level, as each of us must continue to…

Many years ago I was at work and a senior employee said to me, “you need to switch on”. I was new to the job and did not know what to do, yet there must have been an overriding attitude of disinterest. I was there physically, yet in reality I was a thousand miles away. He did not just say this to me once. I acknowledge that as an absent minded child I was often not present when being spoken to. I was often distant and aloof, and would zone out regularly. It was not that my brain was inactive, rather I was thinking, wondering, or pondering. This would sometimes annoy my teachers who were trying to get me to take action. When I started an action I would become easily distracted and a simple task would take me a long time to complete. I have sat down to read something and I found that I could not concentrate. I just couldn’t seem to get my mind to read in a way that I could absorb the material. It did not help that the content of the material my have been very boring, and I found my mind wondering. Therefore…

A few months ago my daughter went for her driving test, and failed. As you can imagine she was very upset. She has a wonderful personality and when she is angry, she expresses it openly. She has done all her life. She began telling me about why she did not get the licence. She explained that she had failed to do a head check when changing lanes, and that she changed lanes in the middle of a 2 land round-a-bout. The instructor called it a ‘critical error’ and immediately terminated the remainder of the driving test. She was only 10 minutes into the test. In her anger she told me how ‘stupid’ the driving instructor was. She told that the road was unfamiliar, and that she was not as alert as she could have been. I decided to leave the ‘responsibility’ frame alone. The ‘responsibility’ frame is governed by ’cause and effect’. The question we must all constantly ask ourselves is, am I at cause in this situation, or am I at the effect of it. Someone who lives in ’cause’ takes full responsibility for everything that shows up in their world. Someone living in ‘effect’ will look for someone, or…

I was doing a priming session with a friend today and we were discussing focus and energy. He has just commenced a new relationship and is very excited about it, and focused on it. This is a great thing, and he is really enjoying the friendship and love that he is creating. He is focused so much on this relationship that it has taken up all of his time. He is not currently employed or studying and is solely enjoying the relationship.  This heavy investment into the relationship is creating a situation in which he has depleted most of his savings.  Reality struck home when he realised that the funds were getting low, and he needed some extra money for upcoming events and challenges. The bar for a Man is to be a leader, lover and provider. Whilst he is hitting the mark by being a lover, this is only one of the three areas in which he needs to take care of if he is going to be truly happy, and if he is going to have a happy partner. As an excellent lover, he is able to provide love and tenderness to his girlfriend, however this alone will not put…

I recently read a quote from Albert Einstein that said, “Try not to become a man of success, but a man of value”.  As I have considered this thought I comprehended that success does not come by focusing on success.  Many people believe that income or wealth is the predominant measure of success.  It is true that financial mastery is a measure of success, however there are many who are successful, or feel successful regardless of their level of wealth.  After all, financial well-being is only one aspect of life.  Therefore if one is successful in their finances, it is folly to automatically assume that this person is successful. Success in one’s career, does not translate to success in life.  I have learned that money, relationships, health and purpose all play a role, and collectively contribute to happiness and success.  If a wealthy person is unhappy the reason may be that they had leaned their ladder of success against the wrong wall.  The rich suffer from anxiety, just like middle class and the poor.  The rich suffer from depression, just like the middle class and the poor.  This is because happiness is based on values, and if you focus on…

I had a brilliant student in one of my workshops state that there are only 3 ways to use time.  He said that we can sell our time, invest our time or waste our time. As I have thought about this comment, and looked back on my life I realise that I have wasted so much time.  In fact even when I was selling my time and investing my time, at the core often I was wasting my time. The biggest reason for this is my reluctance, or resistance to planning.  Planning takes time.  Planning takes mental focus and energy. Planning is a vital part of all success, and it is a principle that successful people understand and live.  Planning is not only goal setting. It’s not only about the big picture. It is about all the small details. It is about the moments in our lives, and making those small moments count. Whilst I understand the importance of planning, often I feel like it is a waste of time because I am so focussed on taking action.  However planning is an important aspect of ‘sharpening the saw’. My brother in law and I were using an electric chainsaw that was…