Breathing Life - Joshua Roy's Blog

Watched a documentary on health. It showed a man who was only 42 years of age. That is 2 years older than I am. This a man was successful financially and was happy for the most part. Yet his physical health was letting him down. He had let himself slide into a lifestyle that had caused him to move toward obesity.   Furthermore this man became heavily reliant on daily medication to help him to live a somewhat normal life. He had developed conditions, or diseases that needed to be treated and kept in check, and in his own words he described himself moving toward an early grave.   He was filming the documentary that showed him going on a 2 month food fast. For 2 months he did nothing except juice natural fruit and vegetables. That became his only sustenance for 60 days.   The results were remarkable, and he was able to see dramatic changes in his health. He lost more than 25kg in weight and was able to get off all his medications.   As he was filming and travelling around he talked to many people who liked what he was doing, however after describing that it…

Met with a man today who wiggled his toe.  That may not sound very impressive.  It certainly does not sound extraordinary.  It also may seem like a strange thing to be asking a client to do. The thing that made this situation both impressive and extraordinary is that this man is a quadriplegic. The Doctor told him about 7 years ago after an accident on a football field that he would never walk again.  The Doctor stated that he would be unable to feel or move his legs. The first time I met with this man I taught him about creating anchors and we created a powerful anchor of excitement.  Before we began he showed me the full range of movement that he had in his left arm.  He stated that according to what the Doctors said, he should not be able to move this arm because of his condition.  He stated that the doctors did not know how he could move the arm.  He explained to me that one day he saw his little finger move.  His hand and then his arm began to move and get stronger each day.  When I came to visit he could lift his…

There are two major inhibitors to creating change in our lives.  They are Time and Money.  Let us consider both of these inhibitors.   The first inhibitor is time.  Each of us the same amount of time in our day.  We are all blessed with the same 24 hour period each day that we must decide how to spend.  The reason ‘time’ and ‘spend’ can be used in the same sentence is that time is a resource much like money.  Some hold the belief that time=money.  In other words they see their time as an investment that produces profit and income.  For some, extra socialising, too many parties and abundant holidays are a waste of time, and therefore a waste of money.   Time is a resource that is bound by laws of the universe.  There is nothing that we can do on this planet to change the amount of time available to us.  These constraints do not allow for manipulation or denial.  All that we can do is accept that time will continue to tick away regardless or our desires, feelings or any other factor.  Time is a limited resource and commodity.   Some of the greatest minds and…

I was looking on Facebook recently and an article was posted that was a test for technology addiction.  It was offering a large sum of money to those who could live apart from technology for an extended period of time.  It had a picture of a log cabin in the woods.   There are those who consider that the need to feed this addiction outweighs their want for material possessions.  In other words it is a battle of Will power.  The mind is willing and yet the flesh is weak.   For those who are dependent on technology for connection with friends, family and the world it may be a difficult thought.  If you rely upon the phone, iPad or other device to validate you as an individual, this test may actually be difficult, or even seem impossible.   Those that have no addiction to technologies, such as Wifi, Internet, computers and mobile phones would consider a time to be away from these a welcome break.  Some even said that they would remain in the Log cabin indefinitely so long as food and other essentials kept coming.   There is a new branch of psychology that deals directly with gaming…

I spoke with a man who stated that he continually makes jokes about other people in front of them that are inappropriate. These jokes are far from malicious as he is a wonderful man and really cares for others, however he described that there is a switch in his mind that is activated when he makes an attempt to draw people close to him. What ends up happening instead is that he can offend and hurt others feelings, thereby causing distance in his interpersonal relationships. These actions are born of insecurity. Rather than silence he feels the need to speak to fill that silence. As I was listening to him describe this situation I recognised a need to be accepted, loved and connection with other people. Offending people in this way is antisocial. While innocent in his intent, the fact remains that this need for love and connection is driving him to speak and act in adverse ways, and this is producing the opposite effect in his world. Once trust is broken and offence received he has to work twice as hard to reestablish this connection with others. I wanted to help and decided that a swish pattern could be…

We all have a need to be loved. We all want to feel deeply loved by another person and share something unique and special. We want that person to love the entirety of us as a person. We want that person to love our good and noble qualities, and to be patient with and love us through our shortfalls and failings. To offer loving support until we iron out our weaknesses, and turn these weaknesses into strengths. We want the kind of love that enables us to grow and expand, while trusting implicitly in the ongoing support of our true friend and lover. The reality of mortality is that all of us have weaknesses and shortcomings. We may desire to always be supporting, loving, kind and generous, only to find that their is always a gap between where we are and where we would like to be. This gap keeps us yearning for improvement and growth. Setting our personal goal as mastery in the area of relationships keeps us continually striving. Love is the reward. Remember the first rule of mastery is to realise that there is no mastery, only increments of excellence. Mastery in relationships means continual growth, and…

I was working with a woman this morning who is very happy, excited and motivated.  She has clear goals and a vision of her future.  She is confident, committed and driven.   She had no doubt that she could achieve her financial goals.  She had no doubt that she could achieve her physical health goals.  She had no doubt she could complete her relationship goals and all the areas of her life.     Why on earth would she invest her time with a life coach?  It seems unnecessary, right?  I mean she is achieving success and happiness.  She has developed her personality and talents.  She is learning and growing.  What then could a life coach offer?   Life coaching is not just for the downhearted and depressed.  I have worked with those dealing with separation and divorce.  I have provided coaching for the overweight and financially destitute.  Life coaching is obviously for a person with many obstacles and challenges to overcome.  What about a person who seems like they are succeeding in every area or aspect of life.  What can life coaching possibly do for such a person?   Firstly.  Wake up.  No one on this planet has it all…

I invited a good friend to be part of my morning routine.  During part of this routine we engage in affirmations with movement.  As this friend began to speak he moved his body in powerful ways and asked that his Maker would use him in powerful ways.  He concluded with the words, “I will be your ripple effect”. Whatever you are. Whatever you do. Whatever you say, people are watching. I recall Steven covey the author and leadership expert once said, “Who you are speaks so loudly it does not matter what you say”. Others get a sense for who we are and what we are, even before we open our mouth. When we do speak, our words are confirmed by what we do and how we act. What we say is secondary. Inconsistency between words and action will let others know we cannot be trusted and are not reliable. While human beings fall short of perfection, there is no excuse for not striving to improve the current situation. There is no excuse for not even striving to increase your capacity to love, forgive, overcome and move forward with hope. There is no excuse pretending you are doing well whilst sitting stagnant….

I have done previous posts on matching and mirroring and in order to appreciate this post it would be a good idea for you to check out former posts.  I also have a video on my site in which I give two examples in building rapport using matching and mirroring. Sending a text message or email is a less effective communication strategy. This seems to be the preferred way for young people to communicate.  The reason this is less effective is because words alone can be significantly misinterpreted.  I recall sending a funny text once to a friend.  This text message was misinterpreted and the friend became offended.  You see all the person got was a written message.  I sent it as a joke, yet the receiver had no way of knowing that I was joking.  As I was writing the joke I said it in a funny way in my own head, and then laughed at how funny I thought the joke was.   Unfortunately the joke did not work and I can only assume that the person read with a very different tone in their mind.  I have wondered how the same message may have been received had…

Have you ever had someone have a breakdown in front of you?  It happened to me this week.  I was with a woman in her early 20’s and she had been given some terrible news.  I helped her to understand the news and what it meant for her, and how it would affect her life over the next several days.  She did not take the news well and showed this by her body language.  She began to weep and cry and say “What.  What.  That can’t be right.  I’ve done nothing wrong”.  She hysterically began to repeat the word “No”, over and over again. As I watched her behaviour I decided to use matching and mirroring. Immediately I copied her body language by crying.  I stood opposite to her, where she could see me and I held my arms up to my face just as she was doing.  I then said, “What.  I don’t know.  I just don’t know.  I don’t know what they will do.  I am new here”. When I was speaking I used the same distressed tone of voice that she had used when she spoke. The result was interesting.  At first I thought that she would…