Breathing Life - Joshua Roy's Blog

In a previous Blog I explained that I spent some time with a woman who was struggling with a long-term weight issue.  She was not mastering appetite like she wanted to in her life. “Hi Josh after the work we did last Sunday I have had a fantastic week. My husband & I are getting along really well and our relationship is very positive.  Another thing that has happened is that my time with my son and our relationship has improved our favorite time of the day is bath time and reading time we love to cuddle up with a good book:) also I have gone to my boss and increased my hours of work because I know I can do it and I do love it! Food is no longer an issue for me I don’t have cravings anymore and I feel free and know that my body wants the best foods for me. I have been looking at food differently as medicine that can either harm or heal so I’m choosing to eat healing foods. My emotions have been more even and I recognize and can stop unwanted emotions and can create new emotions in their place. This…

Christmas has just passed and if like myself you feel like you may have overindulged to excess, you may be thinking of dieting or going onto a detox program.   As I have been thinking about this over the past few days, the realisation of the ineffectiveness of these types of programs became apparent. Dieting, detoxing and health kicks all have one thing in common. They all have a start date.  They also all have an end date.  It has always been recognised that once a diet goal was achieved, the need for the diet may no longer be relevant.  Therefore the weight that was shed would often return once the diet ended.  The fundamental principle behind diets, detox or health kicks, is that it is a short-term health endeavour.  It is a temporary change to eating patterns, and is not considered to be long-term or permanent.   This way of thinking lacks resolve, certainly and will not create a lasting health change. Many years ago the health and fitness industry coined the phrase “lifestyle change”.  This is the only way to get lasting change and great health. In the health seminars that I provide I show simple solutions that address the…

Had a profound and wonderful experience with a young woman who had struggled for many years with an eating disorder.   This woman stated that when she was about 7 years old she made a decision based on a thoughtless comment made by another person.  At this time she decided that she was large, and began living into this belief as a fundamental principle of her life.  From that time she had constantly struggled with weight, and this issue was having a major impact on her health and life. The first thing that I did was a process called parts integration.  Through this process she learned that the part of her that wanted healthy appetite and living was subservient to the part of her that wanted a pleasure filled appetite of eating unhealthy and sugary foods.   In other words the desire to eat unhealthy food was greater than her desire to treat her body with the love and respect it deserved, by eating satisfying and good foods.  She realised that this had created internal conflicts within herself. She said, “I recognise that I have been giving myself mixed signals.  My mind and body has been doing exactly what I have been telling it to do”….

Some time ago my wife and I attended a relationship “strengthening marriage” seminar. After completing the course we explained to a family friend that we did this course. The response was very interesting. This person said, “oh, I did not know that you were having marriage difficulties”. This was an interesting response. When I replied that we were not having problems, the person looked perplexed. The prevalence of this perception is really concerning. The mechanical world understands the need for tune ups and prevention checks. Car services are not only done to change oil, but to check brake pads, lights, tyres, and other moving parts.  Very few cars break down on the highway when regular car services are performed. So why did my wife and I participate in the “strengthening marriage course”. Well this is not the first course we have done together and it will not be the last.  While at the “strengthening marriage course”, the facilitator asked what activities you can do together as a couple. Other couples gave standard answers like hold hands.  Sit together and talk. Go out to dinner.  Go to the movies. I then explained to the other couples that my wife and I…

When most people hear the term investing, they immediately think of money. They may think of investing in real estate or shares, or in other ventures. I would like us to consider investing in another way. I have been asked to MC several weddings and functions and each time I have fully invested of myself. On one occasion I was asked to help run a live auction. This was a very new prospect, as I had never run a live auction. I therefore took it upon myself to prepare for this auction. I really wanted to do a great job and provide entertainment, laughter and be competent and proficient at running this auction. I could have attended and hoped for the best, however I am someone who has learned over the years that preparation precedes performance. Therefore I prepared myself by using YouTube to see several examples of live auctions. I had my iPad in the bathroom and spent about an hour just watching and learning from other auctioneer’s. I then began practicing the skills. Rolling my tongue, rapid clear speech, rhythm and tempo of the calls. Practicing the numbers forward and backwards. I also did a number of voice…

Who does not like cakes?  A good cake is very desirable.  It will tantalize the taste buds, put a smile on your face and create a party in your mouth.  Social gatherings, parties and events all have one thing in common. People gather around to chat and enjoy a slice of your favourite cake, filled with the sugary goodness.   It is a compelling and almost irresistible thing to watch others indulge in delicious sweets and goodies.  What’s more, when you are offered a piece it is difficult to resist.  It is also hard to resist that second piece that needs to be finished off.  If the serving size is particularly large we think to ourselves ‘just this once’, or ‘I will burn it off with exercise’, or ‘I have to be sociable/polite/gracious’ etc.  This would not be an issue of course if this were a once off treat.  If there was a very small amount of processed sugar in our overall diet our body would handle this with ease.  If it was not for the compelling impulses of our sugar addiction, we could withstand the look of this type of food without excruciating effort.   When the holidays arrive…

My father in Law took occasion to share with me some sad news.  He told me of a man that he had known personally, who was now dead.  He had committed suicide. He explained to me that this death was a shock to everyone who knew him.  His reasons for committing suicide were unclear and the family was left to deal with the results.  His wife was distraught over the act, and was left to question the relationship, the family left behind and everything in their lives. While this created stress and hardship, there were other issues.  You see the man had two families.  He had divorced years earlier and the remarried.  He had children to his first marriage and also to his second. What increased the stress at this difficult time was the fact that the man did not have a will.  He did not have anything in place to protect and preserve his current wife and children.  He stated that the current wife had come to see him.  She was not only suffering grief from the loss of her husband, but the first wife had begun proceedings to secure the man’s inheritance. My father in law used this…

As a life coach it is imperative to be in PEAK condition.  By creating immense happiness in one’s own life, we inspire others to create it in theirs.  I am the happiest that I have ever been in my life, and this is because I constantly create a flood of positive emotions in my own body.   The old saying is true that “you cannot lift another soul until you are standing on higher ground than he is”.  In order to lift another person in the area of physical health and fitness, one would not choose a lazy coach.  Just as an athlete must fuel their body appropriately, so too should a life coach.    Just as one would expect a good financial adviser to be prosperous, one would expect that a life coach applies principles of financial success.  Furthermore just as a relationship expert should have strong relationships, so too should a life coach.  It is also relevant in the area of spirituality.  As we develop a strong spiritual life we can assist others to find their purpose in life and live into a bright and compelling future.   The best way to learn is to model behaviour.  The best…

I was working with a client that was struggling with feeling resentment in her life.  I could see that there was work to do in establishing shared values, however for now it was necessary to create a kinesthetic strategy that would enable her to at least deal better on an emotional level. We worked together to create the following neurological bridge. There were four components. Resentment Active understanding Enduring patience Loving peace Once anchored into her nervous system, we were able to establish a new pattern of behaviour. This simply meant that instead of being stuck in feeling resentment, she would automatically wind up feeling loving peace. She was grateful of the changes caused and she felt now that she would have a different outcome when she fell into that emotion in the future. This process took about 20 minutes to establish. I tested the outcome and was pleased to hear that it worked wonderfully. (She was able to create each emotion in her body and the transitions through the various emotions was rapid. She was an incredible learner). Each of us runs strategies in our own lives. Dealing with negative emotions can be a real challenge to some, and this may…

The struggles of ADDICTION   I was working with a man who struggled to separate Love from Sex.  He described that both seemed to him to be one and the same.  He described that when he had sex he felt loved.  When he was rejected sexually, he felt unloved and/or unlovable.   Therefore he had a rule in his life that sex equalled love.  One of the fundamental needs that we have as human beings is the need to be loved.  This led him towards a sex addiction.  He thought that he wanted/needed sex, when he was actually wanting/needing love.  This is not uncommon for one with similar addictions.   Addiction can be very strong, and the roots of addiction very deep.   There is a prevalent thought in the world that “once an addict, always an addict”.  I choose to believe that this statement is completely false.  It is my experience that when an addict is shown another way, that addiction, or any addiction can be overcome.  When the addict chooses another way to meet the need inside themselves, and consistently follow this new way, life will change.  The person simply needs to attach enough pain to the addiction,…