Breathing Life - Joshua Roy's Blog

I was looking on Facebook recently and an article was posted that was a test for technology addiction.  It was offering a large sum of money to those who could live apart from technology for an extended period of time.  It had a picture of a log cabin in the woods.   There are those who consider that the need to feed this addiction outweighs their want for material possessions.  In other words it is a battle of Will power.  The mind is willing and yet the flesh is weak.   For those who are dependent on technology for connection with friends, family and the world it may be a difficult thought.  If you rely upon the phone, iPad or other device to validate you as an individual, this test may actually be difficult, or even seem impossible.   Those that have no addiction to technologies, such as Wifi, Internet, computers and mobile phones would consider a time to be away from these a welcome break.  Some even said that they would remain in the Log cabin indefinitely so long as food and other essentials kept coming.   There is a new branch of psychology that deals directly with gaming…

I spoke with a man who stated that he continually makes jokes about other people in front of them that are inappropriate. These jokes are far from malicious as he is a wonderful man and really cares for others, however he described that there is a switch in his mind that is activated when he makes an attempt to draw people close to him. What ends up happening instead is that he can offend and hurt others feelings, thereby causing distance in his interpersonal relationships. These actions are born of insecurity. Rather than silence he feels the need to speak to fill that silence. As I was listening to him describe this situation I recognised a need to be accepted, loved and connection with other people. Offending people in this way is antisocial. While innocent in his intent, the fact remains that this need for love and connection is driving him to speak and act in adverse ways, and this is producing the opposite effect in his world. Once trust is broken and offence received he has to work twice as hard to reestablish this connection with others. I wanted to help and decided that a swish pattern could be…

Did some work with a woman who refused to resolve an issue during the first session. There was strong resistance. This resistance has been causing her to remain stagnant. Her progression halted to a stop, and she was unable to let go of her past. She had learned that “Love” was the highest positive value for the part of herself that wanted great physical health. She also learned that “Love” was the highest positive value for the part of her that wanted to eat poorly and use food as a means of comfort. In both cases her unconscious mind revealed that love was the desire of her heart or the highest positive value for her life, and the symbolic representation of this was an image of a brain. In the movie “the matrix”, Morpheus explains to Neo that there is a difference between knowing the path and walking the path. One may pose the question. Why would she not walk the path, when the way is open before her? What would cause a person to reject the unification, and integration of knowledge that would alleviate an internal conflict. Why would anyone knowingly hold on to an internal conflict when that…

I invited a good friend to be part of my morning routine.  During part of this routine we engage in affirmations with movement.  As this friend began to speak he moved his body in powerful ways and asked that his Maker would use him in powerful ways.  He concluded with the words, “I will be your ripple effect”. Whatever you are. Whatever you do. Whatever you say, people are watching. I recall Steven covey the author and leadership expert once said, “Who you are speaks so loudly it does not matter what you say”. Others get a sense for who we are and what we are, even before we open our mouth. When we do speak, our words are confirmed by what we do and how we act. What we say is secondary. Inconsistency between words and action will let others know we cannot be trusted and are not reliable. While human beings fall short of perfection, there is no excuse for not striving to improve the current situation. There is no excuse for not even striving to increase your capacity to love, forgive, overcome and move forward with hope. There is no excuse pretending you are doing well whilst sitting stagnant….

It has long been believed and taught that it takes 21 days to create a habit.  In 1960 Doctor Maltz a plastic surgeon published a book called Psycho-Cybernetics which sold more than 30 million copies.  Dr Maltz explained in his book that it took about 21 days for a person who received plastic surgery work, to become accustomed to the changes.  Furthermore according to Maltz, one who had a limb amputated experienced a phantom limb for about 21 days until they adjusted to their new life. Further recent studies have suggested that habits take much longer than 21 days and can take months.  In one study conducted with 96 people it was discovered that it took an average of 66 days to make a behaviour automatic. Now, I have been interested on how to create the greatest possible outcome in the shortest amount of time.  I know it is the nature of mankind to do things faster and better.  To find ways of accelerating learning, and forming a habit is most certainly a form of learning. I therefore have asked myself the question.  Can a habit be formed in one day? My answer is ABSOLUTELY. I will tell you why…

In a previous Blog I explained that I spent some time with a woman who was struggling with a long-term weight issue.  She was not mastering appetite like she wanted to in her life. “Hi Josh after the work we did last Sunday I have had a fantastic week. My husband & I are getting along really well and our relationship is very positive.  Another thing that has happened is that my time with my son and our relationship has improved our favorite time of the day is bath time and reading time we love to cuddle up with a good book:) also I have gone to my boss and increased my hours of work because I know I can do it and I do love it! Food is no longer an issue for me I don’t have cravings anymore and I feel free and know that my body wants the best foods for me. I have been looking at food differently as medicine that can either harm or heal so I’m choosing to eat healing foods. My emotions have been more even and I recognize and can stop unwanted emotions and can create new emotions in their place. This…

When most people hear the term investing, they immediately think of money. They may think of investing in real estate or shares, or in other ventures. I would like us to consider investing in another way. I have been asked to MC several weddings and functions and each time I have fully invested of myself. On one occasion I was asked to help run a live auction. This was a very new prospect, as I had never run a live auction. I therefore took it upon myself to prepare for this auction. I really wanted to do a great job and provide entertainment, laughter and be competent and proficient at running this auction. I could have attended and hoped for the best, however I am someone who has learned over the years that preparation precedes performance. Therefore I prepared myself by using YouTube to see several examples of live auctions. I had my iPad in the bathroom and spent about an hour just watching and learning from other auctioneer’s. I then began practicing the skills. Rolling my tongue, rapid clear speech, rhythm and tempo of the calls. Practicing the numbers forward and backwards. I also did a number of voice…

I spoke with a teenage girl who stated that she is always fighting and getting into yelling arguments with others, including her mother, her cousin, and other people in her life.   Her justification for being confrontational is that she hates others telling her what to do.  This is an issue for her now in her life, yet in the future it could also be an issue if she someday works for a boss.  The reality is that most of us need to be able to respond appropriately when being told what to do.   I decided to do a process with her in which we considered her strategy for getting angry in communication.   I compared the strategy of getting angry with the strategy of baking a cake.   I explained her that if she wanted to bake a cake she would gather ingredients, order and sequence those ingredients, place it in the oven and wait for the cake to cook.  If those ingredients were incorrect, or the time in the oven was too short or too long then the cake would be a flop.  Too much opening of the oven door in anxious expectation, and the cake may…

Who does not like cakes?  A good cake is very desirable.  It will tantalize the taste buds, put a smile on your face and create a party in your mouth.  Social gatherings, parties and events all have one thing in common. People gather around to chat and enjoy a slice of your favourite cake, filled with the sugary goodness.   It is a compelling and almost irresistible thing to watch others indulge in delicious sweets and goodies.  What’s more, when you are offered a piece it is difficult to resist.  It is also hard to resist that second piece that needs to be finished off.  If the serving size is particularly large we think to ourselves ‘just this once’, or ‘I will burn it off with exercise’, or ‘I have to be sociable/polite/gracious’ etc.  This would not be an issue of course if this were a once off treat.  If there was a very small amount of processed sugar in our overall diet our body would handle this with ease.  If it was not for the compelling impulses of our sugar addiction, we could withstand the look of this type of food without excruciating effort.   When the holidays arrive…

I have done previous posts on matching and mirroring and in order to appreciate this post it would be a good idea for you to check out former posts.  I also have a video on my site in which I give two examples in building rapport using matching and mirroring. Sending a text message or email is a less effective communication strategy. This seems to be the preferred way for young people to communicate.  The reason this is less effective is because words alone can be significantly misinterpreted.  I recall sending a funny text once to a friend.  This text message was misinterpreted and the friend became offended.  You see all the person got was a written message.  I sent it as a joke, yet the receiver had no way of knowing that I was joking.  As I was writing the joke I said it in a funny way in my own head, and then laughed at how funny I thought the joke was.   Unfortunately the joke did not work and I can only assume that the person read with a very different tone in their mind.  I have wondered how the same message may have been received had…