Breathing Life - Joshua Roy's Blog

The struggles of ADDICTION   I was working with a man who struggled to separate Love from Sex.  He described that both seemed to him to be one and the same.  He described that when he had sex he felt loved.  When he was rejected sexually, he felt unloved and/or unlovable.   Therefore he had a rule in his life that sex equalled love.  One of the fundamental needs that we have as human beings is the need to be loved.  This led him towards a sex addiction.  He thought that he wanted/needed sex, when he was actually wanting/needing love.  This is not uncommon for one with similar addictions.   Addiction can be very strong, and the roots of addiction very deep.   There is a prevalent thought in the world that “once an addict, always an addict”.  I choose to believe that this statement is completely false.  It is my experience that when an addict is shown another way, that addiction, or any addiction can be overcome.  When the addict chooses another way to meet the need inside themselves, and consistently follow this new way, life will change.  The person simply needs to attach enough pain to the addiction,…

We all have a need to be loved.  This is one of the fundamental needs that each human being shares.  What happens when we feel unloved?  When we feel unloved, and this feeling is reinforced over time, we can find ourselves in a very lonely place.  The feeling of not being loved can lead to the making of negative choices.  When we feel unloved we may sabotage our relationships.  When we feel unloved we may act and behave in ways that are immature or inappropriate.  When we feel unloved and then “act out”, and doings so can cause us to feel even worse.   It is a very negative spiral. I had a conversation with a man who explained that when he felt unloved he would spiral into negative patterns and negative behaviours.  He struggled with addiction and found that his life had become unmanageable at certain times in his life.  Furthermore he found that this feeling of being unloved seemed to start a negative spiral.  Something negative would happen and he would respond by feeling that he was not loved.   While in that negative place he would feed his addiction in an attempt to feel better, and act inappropriately.  This…

Start believing in yourself! We will all encounter set backs and failures. Resistance serves a grand purpose. I continually think about the inspirational scene in the movie Rocky 6. Rocky has a conversation with his adult son in which Rocky explains that somewhere along the way his son decided to let others put a finger in his face and tell him he was no good. Rock explained that nothing will hit harder than life. That life will drop you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. Rocky said it’s not about how hard you hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. He explained that this is how winning is done. Rocky explained that looking around for someone to blame when things go wrong is what cowards do. The final thought to his son was, “until you start believing in yourself you’re not gonna have a life”. The world is full of people who will expect our failure. It is full of people who have given up on many of their own hopes and dreams, and have settled for far less than their birthright. They have failed to unlock their…

The story teller informs us that we are to be like salt and light. Salt adds flavour to food, and it a key ingredient to ensure food tastes great.  Salt also preserves food and makes the food last.  If there is too much salt or no salt, food may be inedible. To be like salt in the world would therefore mean to allow ourselves to live overtly in that we enable others to learn of our lives, hopes and dreams.  Just as salt ads flavour and value to food, our lives should add value to others. A lamp or bulb should be placed in a prominent, unobstructed position in order to give light.  The story teller explains that one would not put a light under a bush. As I have considered how it is possible for a person living in these times, in our current world to be like salt and light, I have realised that the example of how we live and what we do from day to day speaks volumes if we are indeed living with purpose.  To hide our gifts and talents would be to live a covert life.   We should develop our talents and gifts, and…

I spoke with a young woman who has suffered Anxiety and Depression.  This may be circumstantial due to her current situation. Things will be changing for her in the near future and therefore we had a conversation about that future. First I asked if she could see a vision of the future. She responded that she could see it, and described herself in a car with friends singing away as loud as she could. They were all laughing and having a great time. (Vivid imagination – WOW). She sounded very happy as she described this scene. I asked her to continue to describe how she had felt and what she heard. She described feelings of joy and happiness. She described laughter and sounds of Joy. After listening I decided to see if I could assist her to enhance the scene in her mind. I asked her to make the picture she described as big as a house and bright like the sun. I asked her how this felt. She could hardly communicate with me as she imagined the picture enlarged and bright. I then asked her to turn up the sounds in her mind. The music, the laughter and the…

Tonight I concluded the fifth life coaching session with a client. Whilst he had made good progress, I was still striving to see a transformation occur in him. The work that I am interested in, is making changes at the unconscious level. We had communicated about and he had a good understanding at the conscious level yet he was boxed in by the boundary conditions of his own thinking. He was unable to apply the skills because the issue was not lack of skill. The issue was not lack of ability. He is a brilliant man. He has a great marriage and loving family. He experiences good health and high energy levels. He is in a good financial position. He came to me in relation to the only area of his life that he felt was lacking. This area was communication. He had learned throughout his life that if you work hard at any problem, it can be conquered. This approach had worked in all other areas of his life. Yet in this one area of his life, (communication) it seemed that it was not working. He was attentive and made notes. He was completely involved in the exercises that we did,…

Yesterday a work colleague was asked how he was by a visitor and he said the word “great”. Whist he used a positive word in his answer, it really lacked the energy that the word would tend to inspire. The word was flat and without life. The word was free from any tonal inflection. The word was bereft of energy. The word was lifeless. I turned and stated to him that this was the most inauthentic thing I had heard all day. The word was in-congruent with his facial expression, his tone, volume and body language. To that he smiled, and I saw a light come into his eyes as he threw his arms into the air and shouted “GREAT”. This time his energy level was sky-high. The volume was far greater and his face was animated. He was being authentic when he said it this time.  He grinned and then after doing this simple gesture began to laugh. The person that he had said “GREAT” to looked stunned as his reaction was so unexpected. This added to the humour of the situation. He and I both used this simple gesture to energise each other for the rest of the…

On the 31st I had my first introductory seminar for Access World Seminars.  I had put in tremendous effort and was very prepared for the seminar.  In the morning I began in my usual way of doing some breathing exercises, visualising light going into my body and giving gratitude. As I sat down for breakfast I felt a spiritual feeling go all the way through my body as I thought about the introduction seminar.  I really feel blessed and grateful to be able to share information that has had a huge impact on my life.  I also feel that I am living my purpose in life, and I believe that there is nothing better in life than to live each day striving to fulfil that purpose.

In 2010 I looked at my stomach and thought it was time to regain my 6 pack abs.  I worked out like crazy and certainly this made a little difference however that little podgy belly continued to hang on.  I was 34 years old and thought to myself that this stomach was there to stay.  After many hours of exercises I realised that there was really nothing more coming off my stomach so I gave up, accepting that I would always have a fat belly.  After all I was heading toward my mid to late 30’s and how could I possibly have the fitness levels, or physique that I had as a younger man. Resigned to this fact I gave up on working out and slimness and instead began to bulk.  I decided to do weight lifting and to put on some muscle and size.  I greatly increased my food intake.  After doing this for a couple of years I had increased the size of my arms, chest and back considerably.  I also increased the size of my belly.  Then I got an injury on my right bicep and was unable to train for a time. I felt tired and…

Today I had a conversation with a man who was extremely intelligent. His mind is so full of information. He presents well and is doing well in his life and in his family. He is a father and was telling me about himself. He informed me that once he wanted to be a speaker, and realised that he was unable to do this because he lacked confidence. As he was speaking his shoulders rolled forward and I observed this occurring. I asked him if he was confident in his life, and to think about a time he was really confident. He could not think of any right away. I asked if he was confident about being a good father. (He had told me previously that he had a great relationship with his children). To this he answered yes. After several minutes of conversation about other topics he told me how he works with young people, and that he has been trying to teach these young people about how to develop confidence. He told me that he believed that if he could get them to develop confidence then they could take control of their lives. I was very interested about what…