I had a conversation with my wife yesterday in which she described to me a friend that she has who is suffering with the effects of depression. She told me that her friend stated that she was standing in the kitchen when she suddenly felt negative chemicals release in her brain, followed by a flood of negative thoughts and feelings. She described how real these negative thoughts and feelings are, and how real the chemicals are.  Furthermore it was the chemicals that started the whole process. If it was not for that negative chemical release she would feel different, and even happy.

As my wife told me this story I reflected on the experience which the last year of my life has given.  The last year of my life has been a positive and happy year for me and I thought about what had made it so.  I also thought about the stark contrast in my experience of life, compared with someone who suffers from depression.  This is a sensitive topic and I will therefore speak about it from my experience.

I have suffered depression. I went through a divorce many years ago and I felt deeply the failure and disappointment of that experience.  I recall that pain and tears were part of my life through that experience.  I felt a great sense of loss for the relationship that ended. I felt guilt for my words and actions that were often selfish and hurtful. I felt regret that I had not done better, or worked harder or been able to hold things together.  I felt a lot of things, and focusing on these negative things caused feeling of failure. This lead to the creation within me of a very string negative feelings that I now call depression.

This type of depression I call “circumstantial depression”.  I read some books about divorce and followed the instruction such as maintaining regular exercise, and setting up positive routines for myself and my children.  I became the sole parent for my 3 children for a couple of years and I also read some books on parenting.  As I focussed on my children, I began to feel better, and life resumed a more natural course. My thoughts and feeling began to pick up, and I found that I began to enjoy my life once again.  I did not use any medication.

There are other far more serious types of depression such as “clinical depression”.  From what I have read about depression, this type of depression is longer lasting and far more debilitating.  Depression is also far more widespread in the world today than ever before.  In a world with so much abundance, opportunity, wealth, knowledge and wisdom, it is interesting to me that the reliance of this generation on medication has increased more than any past generation.  Anti depressant sales are very high, and more and more people are looking to mediacation as a solution to this issue.  I cannot speak with authority on “clinical depression” as I do not believe that I have never experienced it.  I can however speak as an authority on “circumstantial depression”.

After attending a Tony Robbins seminar in late 2015, I was reintroduced to anchoring.  This simply means that when feeling an intense emotion it is possible to create an anchor so that that emotion can be reignited at will, in the future.  For example if I felt excitement, and put my fist to my chest, I would effectively anchor that positive emotion to the action of putting my fist to my chest. Then when I put my fist to my chest I would reignite this feeling of excitement.  I took this piece of knowledge and decided to really put it to the test.  Each morning I repeat this process twice.   Get excited (jump, yell, fist pump, feel adrenaline) then while feeling this way I put my fist to my chest.  I have done this every day now for over a year. I explained to my wife that I can now feel chemicals being released into my brain when I fire off my anchor.

Therefore thoughts and actions can result in positive or negative chemicals being released into the brain.  Ultimately we are responsible for the food we eat, the feelings we create in our own bodies,  our beliefs, actions and the processes of our own body. If we are releasing good chemicals into our mind, there are things that we have put into practice to accomplish this. If we are releasing negative chemicals, we have also created this.  and creating good feelings. Perhaps the same is true for my wife’s friend. Perhaps one can cause a chemical imbalance with their thinking also.  I believe this to be true.  I can train a person to use their body and mind to achieve greater levels of joy.  Part of this is making the deliberate choice to exercise, to eat healthy food, to be positive about life, to work with purpose and to maintain great relationships.  The second part is to consistently practice creating good feelings in our own bodies.  The third part is to be kind to others.  To love and serve, and contribute.  This will result in fulfilment.

A person who takes shallow breaths, does not move their body, thinks negatively, and focuses on their limitations probably cannot help feeling depressed.  Happiness, joy and peace are all choices.  So to is misery, hardship and loneliness.

The black dog myth.  If you or I deliberately hurt another, we are likely to feel like we have violated our own values or morals.  We feel bad because we have a rule inside our mind that dictates our physiological and emotional response.  When we lift and help others we feel good. This is because we have a rule inside our mind that generates a good positive feeling as part of our response.  These rules have been established throughout our lives, and are governed by our beliefs and values.  These beliefs and values are established by events that happen in our lives.  As events occur, our mind creates a map of that event.  That event has passes through a series of filters that deletes, distorts and genralises the information.  The memory of that event therefore, is not the event, rather it is the interpretation of the event.  The collective interpretation of all the events in our lives create our true beliefs and values.  Out of this we get our rules, and these rules determine our feelings.  Depression is an emotion, and preceeing any emotion is feeling.  All emotions are feelings, but not all feelings are emotions.  Feeling hungry, sick or light headed for example are not emotions. Preceding any feeling is a physiological response.  The black dog myth suggests that something in the external world, that is outside of self,  is disrupting feelings of joy and happiness and energy.  Therefore the black dog has disrupted our peace of mind.  The self actualised individual knows that their own physiological responses, their own feelings and emotions are all created from within.

I hear people argue, “no, my depression is a chemical  deficiency”, or “there is a chemical imbalance”. The truth is that you and I create our own chemicals. Since you and I are in charge of our chemicals, let’s create good ones, and link the resulting emotions to things in our lives that we want to increase.

I know that this interpretation of depression is a belief.  I reinforce this belief every day, and I have discovered that I am in complete control of everything that happens in my body, including the emotions that I experience every moment of every day. This level of mastery permits me to have emotional choice and flexibility, and this gives me power.