You may not realise this but you are a storyteller. We all are. With ever action you take, with every word you speak and even your very presence tells a story. This story is being written every minute of every day. Just like almost every book, there is a main character. That main character is you. You have a past, a present and a future. There past is already written, and yet the past may not actually be an accurate rendition of events and situation because those events are filtered through perceptual filters, false associations and limited understanding. In other words we make meaning of events and situations that may be more imagined than real. Please understand that the events are real, yet our memory and interpretation of these events may be grossly inaccurate.  These filters can effect our perception of reality of a situation so profoundly, that the memory may be completely inaccurate and even unrecognisable.  To really understand this try reading both sides of domestic violence dispute, or getting versions at at traffic accident, or listen to someone tell a story about a situation that you were there for.

It is always fun hearing someone tell a story about an event in which I was present. Often there are embellished details and interesting assortment of facts. Some people under tell a story, and other exaggerate in order to pull laughter from those listening. However a story is retold, the telling of the story says more about the person than it does about the event. The same story can be told different ways. The emotional state of the person telling the story will affect the story. The atmosphere and audience can affect the story. The teller of the story may lack experience, have limited vocabulary, or invest limited energy into the story. Alternately you may hear a story told expertly and with high energy.  Each of these anomalies impact the meaning of the event or story.

When a sender and receiver communicate, the information passes through perceptual filters such as beliefs, values, opinions and past experience and and other unconscious programs that run in the back of the mind.  Therefore all the memories that you have, and ones that you will yet create are in large part, ‘made up’. What seems like reality, is not reality. It is simply our perception of reality. We make a story about what reality is, and this story affects our present and our future. Our story tells us who we are yesterday, today and tomorrow. If we want to change our life we need to change our story. Yet years and years of unconscious programming makes this a difficult process, because each of us becomes very attached to our interpretation of reality.  We consider that our interpretation of imagined reality actually is reality.

In order to effectively understand this concept and affect internal change, I would suggest attending a seminar.

If not, just play with the NLP idea that suggests that “The map is not the territory”.  Since you and I are making things up we might as well make up something incredible. Why not? If you want an amazing life, create it to be amazing.  Creation begins in the mind.

In order to better understand this concept I will tell you a story about how I made up a story in my relationship.  I was with my wife and we were driving in a car. My wife decided to give me some corrective guidance. My idea of a good time is not listening to my wife point out my deficiencies. Nevertheless this is what happened. I was feeling unappreciated and sad. After returning home I thought about what had just happened. I wrote down in point form what my wife had said, or rather what I had heard her say. I felt that there was some tough things that she said to me.  I wrote out all 10 points and then thought to myself, “what is her intention?” (I believe that everything that shows up in my world has a positive intention).

I started listing all the positive intentions behind each statement or idea as I understood it. I thought about one thing she had said which I allowed to cut me deep. I then recognised that at the heart of this comment, was the underlying concept that she did not want to see me hurt, and that she loved me. Another idea meant that she cared about my happiness. Another was that she wanted to help me to be loved and accepted by other people. Another was that she was deeply concerned about the marriage and this meant that she wanted the marriage to last forever. As I looked for the positive intention in all her words the hurt, and frustration soon left.  I was then able to love my wife despite the bombshell that I had felt was dumped on me.

Then when I went out she dropped another one on me. (ouch, hmm, I did not see that one coming).  I knew that I needed to understand. I had been listening, yet not understanding. We had a further discussion and what eventually came out of that discussion was that I was too focused on AccessWorld Seminars and that I had made my work a bigger priority than my wife and family. She was feeling this deeply, and had to somehow communicate this to me.

She said to me what I considered some really hurtful things, and yet at the end of the day all she wanted was for me to choose her. If I was to focus all my energy on AccessWorld Seminars I could definitely grow this business fast. If I focus on my relationship I save my marriage. I chose my wife, and have done through my life over and over and over again. She is the love of my life. She is the greatest thing that ever happened to me. She is so wonderful, beautiful and my everything.

I choose to slow down the growth of AccessWorld Seminars, and to take some extra time for my family and friends.  I choose to extend my goals off into the distance a little, and make it great in a slower way.  So great, that my wife and I will stand side by side as we teach and lead, and love and grow together.

Is your story, the story that you want?  Can you have everything that you want?  I learned that sometimes we need to slow down and make sure that in designing our life, we have all bases covered.