Breathing Life - Joshua Roy's Blog

One of the most difficult and humbling things we face as human beings is to gain victory in the arena of career, whilst failing in the area of relationships.  In other words to win and succeed in one area of life at the expense of another area of life.  I have succeeded in my own mind, and yet have failed in the mind of someone whom I love.  Someone who’s opinion I value immensely.  There have been times when I feel like I have done something really great work, and yet my beautiful wife has a great talent of dragging my head down from ‘its lofty and prideful cloud’, and back to earth.  It is with simple, yet loving correction she teaches and shows me how much work there is yet to do.    It seems to be just at that moment when I expect praise for “all that I had done”, instead I feel unappreciated, and deflated.  Whatever the negative feeling is, the natural part of me associates these negative feelings to my wife and replay the scene over and over in the mind. With constant replaying it leads to resentment or upset. The unfulfilled expectation was that I wanted her to be grateful for…

A few months ago my daughter went for her driving test, and failed. As you can imagine she was very upset. She has a wonderful personality and when she is angry, she expresses it openly. She has done all her life. She began telling me about why she did not get the licence. She explained that she had failed to do a head check when changing lanes, and that she changed lanes in the middle of a 2 land round-a-bout. The instructor called it a ‘critical error’ and immediately terminated the remainder of the driving test. She was only 10 minutes into the test. In her anger she told me how ‘stupid’ the driving instructor was. She told that the road was unfamiliar, and that she was not as alert as she could have been. I decided to leave the ‘responsibility’ frame alone. The ‘responsibility’ frame is governed by ’cause and effect’. The question we must all constantly ask ourselves is, am I at cause in this situation, or am I at the effect of it. Someone who lives in ’cause’ takes full responsibility for everything that shows up in their world. Someone living in ‘effect’ will look for someone, or…

I was doing a priming session with a friend today and we were discussing focus and energy. He has just commenced a new relationship and is very excited about it, and focused on it. This is a great thing, and he is really enjoying the friendship and love that he is creating. He is focused so much on this relationship that it has taken up all of his time. He is not currently employed or studying and is solely enjoying the relationship.  This heavy investment into the relationship is creating a situation in which he has depleted most of his savings.  Reality struck home when he realised that the funds were getting low, and he needed some extra money for upcoming events and challenges. The bar for a Man is to be a leader, lover and provider. Whilst he is hitting the mark by being a lover, this is only one of the three areas in which he needs to take care of if he is going to be truly happy, and if he is going to have a happy partner. As an excellent lover, he is able to provide love and tenderness to his girlfriend, however this alone will not put…