Breathing Life - Joshua Roy's Blog

I was working with a client who was doing a bridging course for university.   He expressed that the work was hard and he was having a really tough time passing exams.  This course was only three weeks long, and was designed to enable him to complete three years’ worth of maths in 3 weeks.  He needed an understanding of mathematics before he could progress in his chosen field of study.  For him this was mandatory to completing his future goals and he needed help as his old beliefs about study, and his ability to retain information was not supporting him very well.   He commented many times about how “hard” it was.   I asked him what he needed help with.  I gave him two options.  1/ studying and learning, or 2/ recall.   He informed me that he needed help with recall.   I then began a process in which I had him imagine that his recall ability was located somewhere in his body.  I then had him imagine that this was represented by a colour.  Next I asked him to remove all of this colour in his body using his imagination.  He got all the colour and held…

I was looking on Facebook recently and an article was posted that was a test for technology addiction.  It was offering a large sum of money to those who could live apart from technology for an extended period of time.  It had a picture of a log cabin in the woods.   There are those who consider that the need to feed this addiction outweighs their want for material possessions.  In other words it is a battle of Will power.  The mind is willing and yet the flesh is weak.   For those who are dependent on technology for connection with friends, family and the world it may be a difficult thought.  If you rely upon the phone, iPad or other device to validate you as an individual, this test may actually be difficult, or even seem impossible.   Those that have no addiction to technologies, such as Wifi, Internet, computers and mobile phones would consider a time to be away from these a welcome break.  Some even said that they would remain in the Log cabin indefinitely so long as food and other essentials kept coming.   There is a new branch of psychology that deals directly with gaming…

I spoke with a man who stated that he continually makes jokes about other people in front of them that are inappropriate. These jokes are far from malicious as he is a wonderful man and really cares for others, however he described that there is a switch in his mind that is activated when he makes an attempt to draw people close to him. What ends up happening instead is that he can offend and hurt others feelings, thereby causing distance in his interpersonal relationships. These actions are born of insecurity. Rather than silence he feels the need to speak to fill that silence. As I was listening to him describe this situation I recognised a need to be accepted, loved and connection with other people. Offending people in this way is antisocial. While innocent in his intent, the fact remains that this need for love and connection is driving him to speak and act in adverse ways, and this is producing the opposite effect in his world. Once trust is broken and offence received he has to work twice as hard to reestablish this connection with others. I wanted to help and decided that a swish pattern could be…

We all have a need to be loved. We all want to feel deeply loved by another person and share something unique and special. We want that person to love the entirety of us as a person. We want that person to love our good and noble qualities, and to be patient with and love us through our shortfalls and failings. To offer loving support until we iron out our weaknesses, and turn these weaknesses into strengths. We want the kind of love that enables us to grow and expand, while trusting implicitly in the ongoing support of our true friend and lover. The reality of mortality is that all of us have weaknesses and shortcomings. We may desire to always be supporting, loving, kind and generous, only to find that their is always a gap between where we are and where we would like to be. This gap keeps us yearning for improvement and growth. Setting our personal goal as mastery in the area of relationships keeps us continually striving. Love is the reward. Remember the first rule of mastery is to realise that there is no mastery, only increments of excellence. Mastery in relationships means continual growth, and…

Many years ago as a kickboxing promoter I helped to train up a young man name Josh to compete in a kickboxing tournament.   I had taught Josh how to punch, kick, block and move.  We had trained speed, power and endurance.   The only thing I had not taught him was how to get into the kickboxing ring.   There are two ways to get into a kickboxing ring.  The first way is over the top rope.  The second way is through the ropes.   Now Josh was tall and therefore I made a decision that he should go over the top rope.   I arrived at the side of the ring before he did.  I then used all my weight to push down on the rope.  The rope was tort and did not move very much.  I put all my weight onto the rope and still it did not go down very far.   Josh moved to the side of the ring and grabbed onto the top rope with his boxing gloves.  Those of you have used boxing gloves know that it is very difficult to grab or hold onto something.   At this point Josh decided to…

I was working with a woman this morning who is very happy, excited and motivated.  She has clear goals and a vision of her future.  She is confident, committed and driven.   She had no doubt that she could achieve her financial goals.  She had no doubt that she could achieve her physical health goals.  She had no doubt she could complete her relationship goals and all the areas of her life.     Why on earth would she invest her time with a life coach?  It seems unnecessary, right?  I mean she is achieving success and happiness.  She has developed her personality and talents.  She is learning and growing.  What then could a life coach offer?   Life coaching is not just for the downhearted and depressed.  I have worked with those dealing with separation and divorce.  I have provided coaching for the overweight and financially destitute.  Life coaching is obviously for a person with many obstacles and challenges to overcome.  What about a person who seems like they are succeeding in every area or aspect of life.  What can life coaching possibly do for such a person?   Firstly.  Wake up.  No one on this planet has it all…

We all have beliefs around money.  There are beliefs around the making of money.  Beliefs around the spending of money.   Here are some beliefs about money that many relate to.   1/         There is never enough money. 2/         you need to have money in order to make money. 3/         its not spiritual to have too much money (you must decide between rich or happy). 4/         you have to work too hard to make money. 5/         I’m just not good with money. 6/         my family has never been rich. 7/         money does not grow on trees. 8/         its selfish to want a lot of money. 9/         money is a limited resource. 10/        the rich get richer, the poor get poorer.   The rich have different beliefs.  Here are some examples.   1/         I can buy anything I want. 2/         my money works for me 3/         wealth creation begins in the mind. 4/         making money is easy. 5/         Passion pays.   Most people can identify with one prevalent attitude concerning money.  The need for more of it. There are many things that we need and want and the solution tends to always be a need to generate more cash flow.  A need…

Did some work with a woman who refused to resolve an issue during the first session. There was strong resistance. This resistance has been causing her to remain stagnant. Her progression halted to a stop, and she was unable to let go of her past. She had learned that “Love” was the highest positive value for the part of herself that wanted great physical health. She also learned that “Love” was the highest positive value for the part of her that wanted to eat poorly and use food as a means of comfort. In both cases her unconscious mind revealed that love was the desire of her heart or the highest positive value for her life, and the symbolic representation of this was an image of a brain. In the movie “the matrix”, Morpheus explains to Neo that there is a difference between knowing the path and walking the path. One may pose the question. Why would she not walk the path, when the way is open before her? What would cause a person to reject the unification, and integration of knowledge that would alleviate an internal conflict. Why would anyone knowingly hold on to an internal conflict when that…

I invited a good friend to be part of my morning routine.  During part of this routine we engage in affirmations with movement.  As this friend began to speak he moved his body in powerful ways and asked that his Maker would use him in powerful ways.  He concluded with the words, “I will be your ripple effect”. Whatever you are. Whatever you do. Whatever you say, people are watching. I recall Steven covey the author and leadership expert once said, “Who you are speaks so loudly it does not matter what you say”. Others get a sense for who we are and what we are, even before we open our mouth. When we do speak, our words are confirmed by what we do and how we act. What we say is secondary. Inconsistency between words and action will let others know we cannot be trusted and are not reliable. While human beings fall short of perfection, there is no excuse for not striving to improve the current situation. There is no excuse for not even striving to increase your capacity to love, forgive, overcome and move forward with hope. There is no excuse pretending you are doing well whilst sitting stagnant….

My Karate instructor would regularly repeat the phrase “Pain is just an emotion”.  I was lying on my back with my knees up and my karate instructor was standing nearby.  I knew what was coming next.  I saw him do what he was about to do many times before to senior grades in the Karate class.  Now that I had joined their ranks it was time for me to receive intense abdominal training.   I was 15 years old.  We had just completed a couple of hundred sit ups, and when I saw him step to my side I flexed my abdominal muscles as hard as I could.  I then saw my instructor jump as high as he could into the air.  He then landed on my stomach heels first.  I felt the impact and it hit like a sledge hammer.  Wind escaped my lungs and I might have even farted.  There was also pain.  It hurt a lot to have that type of impact hit my body.  Thankfully the pain did not stay, and due to the conditioning work that we did I was able to withstand this heavy impact.   This is just one example of body conditioning…