Breathing Life - Joshua Roy's Blog

There are a great deal of people who believe that their product or service is great value. The value of any service or product is not always reflected in the sales. It is not always reflected in revenue or profits. It is not always received in the manner intended, neither does it always live up to its promises. The strength and value of a product or service is only as good as its ability to be measured, weighed in the balance and compared. When a product is tested against other products, this yields quantifiable results. For example a vacuum cleaner can be tested to see how much dust it collects. A cleaning product can be tested to see how shiny a surface becomes, and a knife could be tested for its ability to remain sharp after excessive use. A product can therefore be tested, measured, evaluated and reviewed. A service in the form of education or up-skilling is somewhat different. We have moved into the Information Age, and the value of knowledge has never been higher. Ideas and concepts, though intangible, hold the key to health, wealth, and success. Information cannot be quantified, weighted or tested in the same way…

Met with a man today who wiggled his toe.  That may not sound very impressive.  It certainly does not sound extraordinary.  It also may seem like a strange thing to be asking a client to do. The thing that made this situation both impressive and extraordinary is that this man is a quadriplegic. The Doctor told him about 7 years ago after an accident on a football field that he would never walk again.  The Doctor stated that he would be unable to feel or move his legs. The first time I met with this man I taught him about creating anchors and we created a powerful anchor of excitement.  Before we began he showed me the full range of movement that he had in his left arm.  He stated that according to what the Doctors said, he should not be able to move this arm because of his condition.  He stated that the doctors did not know how he could move the arm.  He explained to me that one day he saw his little finger move.  His hand and then his arm began to move and get stronger each day.  When I came to visit he could lift his…

I did some neurological repatterning with a young man of about 24 years old.  This young man had experienced a difficult childhood, and as a result he was struggling to cope with everyday life.  He had made some choices that made it difficult for him to cope in certain situations.  One of these situations was an unexpected or unwelcome touch on his body.  This action would trigger feeling of betrayal that he described as a blue feeling that stated in the middle of his chest and shot into his arms and body.  It left him feeling empty and angrily visually fixated on whatever he believed had caused it.   I found this out as he was telling me about his challenges and I shouted “be healed”, while putting my hand on his head like a priest in the Pentecostal faith.  (Neurological shock).   His reaction was immediate and aggressive.  He wanted to assault me and I could see the hatred he was displaying was out of this world.  He squeezed his fists and his eyes narrowed on my.  I just watched patiently.  It appeared like he was fighting against the temptation to attack and kill me.  He moved over away…

A great deal has been written and discussed about emotional intelligence (EQ). According to research there are a number or reasons why it is good to have high EQ. These people who have a high EQ have…. Far less depression or anxiety in their lives. Greater ability to form relationships. Greater ability to maintain long term relationships. Ability to build rapid rapport. Ability to show empathy, not just sympathy. Ability to read a situation, connect with others, and lead them in a positive way. Ability to actually listen and become absorbed in the world of another. Ability to take control of the meanings of life in an empowering way. Ability to take personal responsibility for all thoughts and feelings. High personal individual accountability.   Finally a person with high EQ is able to access more positive emotions and fill their lives with joy and happiness, wealth and success.  Emotional intelligent people have the capacity to move emotions ‘at will’ to a heightened positive state.  Emotional flexibility can be learned and practiced. As we consider the benefit of emotional mastery, all of us could find compelling reasons to increase our EQ.   Many years ago when I was fresh out of…

I have been thinking a lot about values over the last couple of days.   Values are simply judgements about something.  Judgements are split into two categories.  The first is made up of things that you may like.  The second is made of things you may dislike.  The reasons or judgments about why you like or dislike that thing is a key in determining your set of values.   For example; You may like exercise.  You may dislike running. You may like eating fish.  You may dislike Lamb shanks. You may like self-improvement.  You may dislike religion. You may like computer games.  You may dislike public speaking.   Our likes and dislikes create feelings, attitudes and beliefs.  These feelings, attitudes and beliefs result in us finding certain attributes or qualities important to us and our life.  As we consider what is important in a certain area of life we are in fact thinking about our values.   One of the best ways of eliciting values from a person is to ask the question.  What is important to you in that area?   As an example if you wanted to know what your physical fitness values were, you might ask yourself…

I was life coaching a woman who was allowing her husband to continually push her buttons.  She was separated and soon to be divorced.  This woman had explained to me that just seeing her husband sent her into a tail spin. I had her imagine that he was in front of her now.  Her whole body changed.  The look on her face changed.  Her shoulders drooped, the corners of her mouth pulled toward the ground and she almost looked as though she was physically ill.  (She had created an anchor that when she saw him {or imagined she saw him} negative feeling entered her body). It was obvious to me that she was giving up her personal power and allowing herself to be effected emotionally to a large degree.  As many do, she was trapped in blame.  She was very busy blaming him for the way the relationship was turning out. I was planning at this point to have a lengthy conversation to help her understand that she was creating the feelings in her body.  That she was completely responsible for her feelings of anger, frustration and hurt etc.  (She created these feelings again while I was with her just…

As we travel through life each of us has to deal with feelings of loneliness.  These feeling may result from loss of a loved one, separation from friends or a situation in which a person may feel disconnected from people in their lives. Relationships are vital to our feeling connected with others and enjoying a happy and productive life.  It is interesting to me that some men and women comment that they do not have any friends.  They do not really know how to connect with other people, or how to establish a long term relationship.   Others can connect with other people in the short term, however they feel like they cannot maintain a long term relationship.  For yet others there seems to be no necessity in their mind to connect with others.  There is no driving passion compelling them to have rich friendships. Wherever you are on your journey in life, if there are ever feelings of loneliness, I believe that this feeling is prompted by a yearning in our soul to have deep and rich relationships. I have learned about really connecting with the people in our lives.  What I have recently become aware of is that experiences…

Often we are the last to notice an internal change or “shift” that has occurred inside ourselves.  When I work with others I look for internal “shifts” and changes that occur.  The beauty about change is that it is visible, if one knows what to look for, and how change will manifest itself.  Predominately change will show up on a person’s face and in their physiology.   Due to the unique nature of human beings, the manifestation of psychological “shifts” shows up differently for each individual.  I have been observing “shifts” in people for many years now.  This awareness is learned and all can develop this ability.   In my occupation I often need to deal with aggressive and angry people.  I see the “shifts” happen in these individuals prior to their becoming aggressive.  There are signs that people give prior to ‘acting out’, that warn others of their intentions.  We can learn to become attuned to these signs and this is important if we want to remain prepared and safe.  Learning to read these signs comes with experience, and sometimes that experience is a result of pain and discomfort.  What we use in this instance is “sensory acuity”.  We…

I was working with a client who was doing a bridging course for university.   He expressed that the work was hard and he was having a really tough time passing exams.  This course was only three weeks long, and was designed to enable him to complete three years’ worth of maths in 3 weeks.  He needed an understanding of mathematics before he could progress in his chosen field of study.  For him this was mandatory to completing his future goals and he needed help as his old beliefs about study, and his ability to retain information was not supporting him very well.   He commented many times about how “hard” it was.   I asked him what he needed help with.  I gave him two options.  1/ studying and learning, or 2/ recall.   He informed me that he needed help with recall.   I then began a process in which I had him imagine that his recall ability was located somewhere in his body.  I then had him imagine that this was represented by a colour.  Next I asked him to remove all of this colour in his body using his imagination.  He got all the colour and held…

I spoke with a man who stated that he continually makes jokes about other people in front of them that are inappropriate. These jokes are far from malicious as he is a wonderful man and really cares for others, however he described that there is a switch in his mind that is activated when he makes an attempt to draw people close to him. What ends up happening instead is that he can offend and hurt others feelings, thereby causing distance in his interpersonal relationships. These actions are born of insecurity. Rather than silence he feels the need to speak to fill that silence. As I was listening to him describe this situation I recognised a need to be accepted, loved and connection with other people. Offending people in this way is antisocial. While innocent in his intent, the fact remains that this need for love and connection is driving him to speak and act in adverse ways, and this is producing the opposite effect in his world. Once trust is broken and offence received he has to work twice as hard to reestablish this connection with others. I wanted to help and decided that a swish pattern could be…