The “pulls” and “tugs” of life. Remember the most important thing!

Has there been a period in your life in which you were ‘burning the candle at both ends’.  Goals, dreams, ambition constantly require effort and energy to constantly produce outstanding results.  I have just returned from a well needed holiday at the Gold Coast. It was wonderful to be with the family and enjoy quality time with them.  There are so many ‘pulls’ and ‘tugs’ in the world, that often we need to re-evaluate where we are heading and what we are creating.  Love, marriage and relationships are pulling us in one direction, while career aspirations are tugging us in another direction.  We invest time toward being physically fit and healthy, while feeling the need to contribute and provide service to those in need.   I once attended the medieval festival where a jester was balancing on a small plank, that was balancing on red ball.  He then began to juggle.  As I think about this scene, I believe that this is a great analogy for life, and the many pressures and competing forces that demand our attention.  Having a family holiday was fantastic, and it reminded me how critical it is to ensure that the family, the fundamental unit of…

Are you being pulled in two directions?

I attended a meeting on leadership principles.  In this meeting I was asked to come up to the front of the room with 2 other people.  While at the front of the room two of us were asked to grab the arms of the third person, one on one side and the second on the other.  I obediently grabbed onto the left arm of this man.  We were then asked to pull which we did.  I may have been a little overzealous and I pulled hard, causing both men to lose balance.  It is not as if my goal was to dislodge the arm from the shoulder socket, and yet when I play, I play to win. Pointing to the man in the middle the speaker made this point.  He stated that the man the middle represented each of us as we are being constantly pulled in two different directions.  He stated that we need to resist and remain on track and focused, and have a constant battle within ourselves in order to make good choices. Obviously he was talking about the conflict that exists between the conscious mind and the unconscious man.  In religion it is referred to as…

Life coaching is for YOU!!!!!!

AccessWorldSeminars has achieved its July goals for Life coaching.  This is very exciting news.  With this Goal reached we are now in full swing.  With limited time for coaching remaining it is a challenge to continue to increase the individual sessions that i have been providing.  It is not as possible to fit much more into my very busy lifestyle.  Thus the need to adapt.  I am now holding group sessions instead of individual sessions.  These workshops will begin next month, and will give the opportunity for more people to be involved in the growth and development that AccessWorldSeminars offers.   Individual life coaching will still be available, however as demand for the services that I offer continue to increase, it is becoming necessary to hold group life coaching sessions. If you are struggling with in-congruence, self-sabotage and bad habits or addictions, then life coaching is for you. If you are wanting to make your dreams and goals happen faster than you ever thought possible, then life coaching is for you. How much would it cost in your future to stay stuck?  With the tools now available, the time to engage is now.  Lets get rid of Fear, Laziness and limited self…

Don’t keep spinning in place. It is time to move forward.

Money is a concern for so many people today.  Money causes a real challenge as so many people have huge earning capacity, and yet money seems to slip through their fingers.   I learned long ago that wealth creation does not come from income.  Wealth creation comes from investments.  It comes from saving and having money grow through investing. Most people have strong emotions attached to money, and for good reason.  While you and I were growing up our parents also had very strong feelings toward money.  While some of these thoughts and feelings were positive, many of them were negative. Your parents like mine may have said, “We can’t afford it”.  “Money does not grow on trees”.  “How are we going to pay for that”, “It’s hard to get ahead”.  “It’s hard to make money” Most of us could do a little more money I am sure, yet some of these sayings that live in the unconscious mind could keep us from having more of this resource. For example, you may consciously believe that having more money will give you freedom to purchase the things you want and need, you may unconsciously believe that “it’s hard to get ahead”.  You…

Waiting for another to fall. Depression.

When we learn of someone we know going through a tragedy, we often feel sorry for that person. If that person experiences great sadness and becomes despondent and depressed we often don’t know what to do. Sometimes the logical course of action, is simply to wait. After all, most people come through ok.   What are two types of depression? One is a circumstantial depression. The second is a clinical or long term depression.   A circumstantial depression is simply a depression that is attached to a situation or circumstance. It could be a result of a separation, loss of a loved one, economic hardship, adverse physical health of some other circumstance. The person experiencing this type of depression needs to pass through the situation. Just like any change in circumstance, there will be a period of adjustment. There may be a period of feeling out of control. A period of feeling empty, lost, lonely, hurt or rejected.   The good thing about most circumstantial depression is that it passes. When the circumstance surrounding the depression no longer exists, or sufficient time has passed, or a new opportunity presents itself, the depression or the reason for the depression is no…

Relationship Dysfunction.

I remember once thinking or believing that all relationships in this world are dysfunctional.  Yet I realised that I had not yet met every couple or family in this world, neither is it possible to do.  Yet this idea that every relationship is dysfunctional is a thought that has put me at ease as I consider the dysfunctions that do and have existed in my family.   1/         Acknowledge the Dysfunction.   My experience is that most families and individuals attempt to mask, hide, deny or pretend they know nothing about their dysfunction.  Dysfunctions, weather large or small plague families and individuals, making it impossible to imagine a perfectly functional family.  The first step to eliminating the dysfunction in our relationships is to recognise that there is a dysfunction.  As imperfect people in an imperfect world, we are going to offend, hurt, act selfishly and impact others in a negative way.  This may be intentional or otherwise, yet the truth remains that to be human is to make mistakes and be less than perfect.  Often it is easier to see the weaknesses of others.  As we honestly look to our thoughts, actions, habits and character, we will soon discover that we…

Recognising change.

Often we are the last to notice an internal change or “shift” that has occurred inside ourselves.  When I work with others I look for internal “shifts” and changes that occur.  The beauty about change is that it is visible, if one knows what to look for, and how change will manifest itself.  Predominately change will show up on a person’s face and in their physiology.   Due to the unique nature of human beings, the manifestation of psychological “shifts” shows up differently for each individual.  I have been observing “shifts” in people for many years now.  This awareness is learned and all can develop this ability.   In my occupation I often need to deal with aggressive and angry people.  I see the “shifts” happen in these individuals prior to their becoming aggressive.  There are signs that people give prior to ‘acting out’, that warn others of their intentions.  We can learn to become attuned to these signs and this is important if we want to remain prepared and safe.  Learning to read these signs comes with experience, and sometimes that experience is a result of pain and discomfort.  What we use in this instance is “sensory acuity”.  We…

Saying dumb stuff

I spoke with a man who stated that he continually makes jokes about other people in front of them that are inappropriate. These jokes are far from malicious as he is a wonderful man and really cares for others, however he described that there is a switch in his mind that is activated when he makes an attempt to draw people close to him. What ends up happening instead is that he can offend and hurt others feelings, thereby causing distance in his interpersonal relationships. These actions are born of insecurity. Rather than silence he feels the need to speak to fill that silence. As I was listening to him describe this situation I recognised a need to be accepted, loved and connection with other people. Offending people in this way is antisocial. While innocent in his intent, the fact remains that this need for love and connection is driving him to speak and act in adverse ways, and this is producing the opposite effect in his world. Once trust is broken and offence received he has to work twice as hard to reestablish this connection with others. I wanted to help and decided that a swish pattern could be…

Laugh at yourself

Many years ago as a kickboxing promoter I helped to train up a young man name Josh to compete in a kickboxing tournament.   I had taught Josh how to punch, kick, block and move.  We had trained speed, power and endurance.   The only thing I had not taught him was how to get into the kickboxing ring.   There are two ways to get into a kickboxing ring.  The first way is over the top rope.  The second way is through the ropes.   Now Josh was tall and therefore I made a decision that he should go over the top rope.   I arrived at the side of the ring before he did.  I then used all my weight to push down on the rope.  The rope was tort and did not move very much.  I put all my weight onto the rope and still it did not go down very far.   Josh moved to the side of the ring and grabbed onto the top rope with his boxing gloves.  Those of you have used boxing gloves know that it is very difficult to grab or hold onto something.   At this point Josh decided to…

Money Matters.

We all have beliefs around money.  There are beliefs around the making of money.  Beliefs around the spending of money.   Here are some beliefs about money that many relate to.   1/         There is never enough money. 2/         you need to have money in order to make money. 3/         its not spiritual to have too much money (you must decide between rich or happy). 4/         you have to work too hard to make money. 5/         I’m just not good with money. 6/         my family has never been rich. 7/         money does not grow on trees. 8/         its selfish to want a lot of money. 9/         money is a limited resource. 10/        the rich get richer, the poor get poorer.   The rich have different beliefs.  Here are some examples.   1/         I can buy anything I want. 2/         my money works for me 3/         wealth creation begins in the mind. 4/         making money is easy. 5/         Passion pays.   Most people can identify with one prevalent attitude concerning money.  The need for more of it. There are many things that we need and want and the solution tends to always be a need to generate more cash flow.  A need…