Breathing Life - Joshua Roy's Blog

I remember once thinking or believing that all relationships in this world are dysfunctional.  Yet I realised that I had not yet met every couple or family in this world, neither is it possible to do.  Yet this idea that every relationship is dysfunctional is a thought that has put me at ease as I consider the dysfunctions that do and have existed in my family.   1/         Acknowledge the Dysfunction.   My experience is that most families and individuals attempt to mask, hide, deny or pretend they know nothing about their dysfunction.  Dysfunctions, weather large or small plague families and individuals, making it impossible to imagine a perfectly functional family.  The first step to eliminating the dysfunction in our relationships is to recognise that there is a dysfunction.  As imperfect people in an imperfect world, we are going to offend, hurt, act selfishly and impact others in a negative way.  This may be intentional or otherwise, yet the truth remains that to be human is to make mistakes and be less than perfect.  Often it is easier to see the weaknesses of others.  As we honestly look to our thoughts, actions, habits and character, we will soon discover that we…

Contacted a friend today and learned that something incredible has happened in his life.  He in in the process of purchasing a home for him and his small family.  To me this was great news.  He sounded very happy and excited about this new project.  It sounded like he was making real progress in his life.   He told me that he had been eating more healthily and had made changes in many areas of his life.  What added more to my surprise was that he told me that these changes (health commitment, financial commitment to purchase a home) all began after he attended an Access World introductory seminar in 2015.   Something that he saw and heard impacted him in a profound way.  He had made a commitment to make these change during the seminar, and he felt great about his ability to create a compelling future for himself and his family.   One of the exercises that was taught at the introductory seminar is the State Elicitation script.  This is a process whereby I asked each person to recall a time each participant felt absolutely confident.  I then asked them to imagine the scene in which they were…

I thought that I would take the time to write a short blog about the six human needs.   These needs are common to all human beings who enjoy the human experience.   While these needs relate to every person, they may be sequenced and ordered differently according to the values and beliefs of each individual.   The first human need is the need for certainty.  This need grows out of the desire to know what we know.  For example we know that the sun will rise in the morning.  We know that Breakfast is the first meal of the day.  We know where we live, and who we live with. This knowledge keeps us safe and secure.  This knowledge stabilises our world and enables us to take comfort and have trust in the predictable aspects of our lives.   The second human need is the need for uncertainty.  This need is often called variety.  Too much certainty and predictability make for a condition in which there is no surprises in life.  This would make for a boring and unfulfilling life.  Without an occasional surprise, and without the challenges of uncertainty in life, the forging of our character would be null…

The following paragraph is an excerpt taken from the internet that explains retention rates of learning through lectures and other forms of teaching.   “The experts generally agree that simulations boost learning retention rates dramatically. An often-cited study conducted by the NTL Institute for Applied Behavioral Sciences in Alexandria, Va., found that on average, students retain 5 percent of what they hear in lectures, 10 percent of what they read, and 20 percent of what they see and hear in audiovisual presentations. But add “practice by doing” and “teach others/immediate use” and retention rates shoot up to a jaw-dropping 78 percent.”   Much of traditional education is based on lectures.  The practical application of any learning is imperative to integrating that learning into one’s mind and heart.  The challenge from a teaching standpoint is to learn how to increase learning of the students to such an extent that massive change can occur in the shortest amount of time.   It is the nature of mankind to do things faster and better.  Improvements have been made in both travel and communication.  Once it took many months to send a message to the other side of the earth or to travel around…

Often we are the last to notice an internal change or “shift” that has occurred inside ourselves.  When I work with others I look for internal “shifts” and changes that occur.  The beauty about change is that it is visible, if one knows what to look for, and how change will manifest itself.  Predominately change will show up on a person’s face and in their physiology.   Due to the unique nature of human beings, the manifestation of psychological “shifts” shows up differently for each individual.  I have been observing “shifts” in people for many years now.  This awareness is learned and all can develop this ability.   In my occupation I often need to deal with aggressive and angry people.  I see the “shifts” happen in these individuals prior to their becoming aggressive.  There are signs that people give prior to ‘acting out’, that warn others of their intentions.  We can learn to become attuned to these signs and this is important if we want to remain prepared and safe.  Learning to read these signs comes with experience, and sometimes that experience is a result of pain and discomfort.  What we use in this instance is “sensory acuity”.  We…

I was looking on Facebook recently and an article was posted that was a test for technology addiction.  It was offering a large sum of money to those who could live apart from technology for an extended period of time.  It had a picture of a log cabin in the woods.   There are those who consider that the need to feed this addiction outweighs their want for material possessions.  In other words it is a battle of Will power.  The mind is willing and yet the flesh is weak.   For those who are dependent on technology for connection with friends, family and the world it may be a difficult thought.  If you rely upon the phone, iPad or other device to validate you as an individual, this test may actually be difficult, or even seem impossible.   Those that have no addiction to technologies, such as Wifi, Internet, computers and mobile phones would consider a time to be away from these a welcome break.  Some even said that they would remain in the Log cabin indefinitely so long as food and other essentials kept coming.   There is a new branch of psychology that deals directly with gaming…

I spoke with a man who stated that he continually makes jokes about other people in front of them that are inappropriate. These jokes are far from malicious as he is a wonderful man and really cares for others, however he described that there is a switch in his mind that is activated when he makes an attempt to draw people close to him. What ends up happening instead is that he can offend and hurt others feelings, thereby causing distance in his interpersonal relationships. These actions are born of insecurity. Rather than silence he feels the need to speak to fill that silence. As I was listening to him describe this situation I recognised a need to be accepted, loved and connection with other people. Offending people in this way is antisocial. While innocent in his intent, the fact remains that this need for love and connection is driving him to speak and act in adverse ways, and this is producing the opposite effect in his world. Once trust is broken and offence received he has to work twice as hard to reestablish this connection with others. I wanted to help and decided that a swish pattern could be…

We all have beliefs around money.  There are beliefs around the making of money.  Beliefs around the spending of money.   Here are some beliefs about money that many relate to.   1/         There is never enough money. 2/         you need to have money in order to make money. 3/         its not spiritual to have too much money (you must decide between rich or happy). 4/         you have to work too hard to make money. 5/         I’m just not good with money. 6/         my family has never been rich. 7/         money does not grow on trees. 8/         its selfish to want a lot of money. 9/         money is a limited resource. 10/        the rich get richer, the poor get poorer.   The rich have different beliefs.  Here are some examples.   1/         I can buy anything I want. 2/         my money works for me 3/         wealth creation begins in the mind. 4/         making money is easy. 5/         Passion pays.   Most people can identify with one prevalent attitude concerning money.  The need for more of it. There are many things that we need and want and the solution tends to always be a need to generate more cash flow.  A need…

Did some work with a woman who refused to resolve an issue during the first session. There was strong resistance. This resistance has been causing her to remain stagnant. Her progression halted to a stop, and she was unable to let go of her past. She had learned that “Love” was the highest positive value for the part of herself that wanted great physical health. She also learned that “Love” was the highest positive value for the part of her that wanted to eat poorly and use food as a means of comfort. In both cases her unconscious mind revealed that love was the desire of her heart or the highest positive value for her life, and the symbolic representation of this was an image of a brain. In the movie “the matrix”, Morpheus explains to Neo that there is a difference between knowing the path and walking the path. One may pose the question. Why would she not walk the path, when the way is open before her? What would cause a person to reject the unification, and integration of knowledge that would alleviate an internal conflict. Why would anyone knowingly hold on to an internal conflict when that…

I invited a good friend to be part of my morning routine.  During part of this routine we engage in affirmations with movement.  As this friend began to speak he moved his body in powerful ways and asked that his Maker would use him in powerful ways.  He concluded with the words, “I will be your ripple effect”. Whatever you are. Whatever you do. Whatever you say, people are watching. I recall Steven covey the author and leadership expert once said, “Who you are speaks so loudly it does not matter what you say”. Others get a sense for who we are and what we are, even before we open our mouth. When we do speak, our words are confirmed by what we do and how we act. What we say is secondary. Inconsistency between words and action will let others know we cannot be trusted and are not reliable. While human beings fall short of perfection, there is no excuse for not striving to improve the current situation. There is no excuse for not even striving to increase your capacity to love, forgive, overcome and move forward with hope. There is no excuse pretending you are doing well whilst sitting stagnant….