Whatever you do, DON’T SMOKE.

Smoking in 2016 has got to be the most unrewarding experience that I can think of.  Take away the social aspect and what is left? I was working with a client who expressed her desires to quit smoking.  During the session I had her list and write down the benefits of smoking.  This she did and there were a couple of minor benefits that she could link to smoking.  However when we weighed these against the disadvantages of smoking a huge imbalance became evident. It took me only a few minutes to dissemble the benefits of smoking, and to show her how to fill the same needs in a positive healthy way. All that remained was a long list of disadvantages.  She was ready to make the changes and for the re-patterning process to be installed directly into her unconscious mind. An interesting concept that I taught was that in order to take control of this addiction, she needed to choose to either shrink the addiction or alternately grow bigger, or outgrow the addiction. As I considered these two approaches and thought about their implications, my mind was drawn to two different schools of thought.  The first is the concept…

Love Languages and relationship adjustment

Many books have been written on love.  The famous family therapist Virginia Satir spoke about love for self and being authentic in our communication with others.  She taught that love was a powerful healing element that could reshape individuals and families. Her main focus was to empower individuals and families to take full responsibility for all that they saw, heard and felt. As she empowered people to embrace their authentic self, this assisted her clients to create change. She produced results that appeared to others to be miracles, and it also appeared that she was responsible for creating change in others.  This is not entirely accurate because she did not really do anything other than create an environment whereby others could understand that their perceptions of reality was not reality.  She would explain that the constructs of imagination, and our thoughts either empower or dis-empower. Other authors have likewise had much to write on the subject to love. Many books today speak about the 5 languages.  The premise of understanding love languages, is to assist those in relationships to identify the dominant love languages of ourselves and others. I have heard people erroneously declare that this or that person, “does…

Are you being pulled in two directions?

I attended a meeting on leadership principles.  In this meeting I was asked to come up to the front of the room with 2 other people.  While at the front of the room two of us were asked to grab the arms of the third person, one on one side and the second on the other.  I obediently grabbed onto the left arm of this man.  We were then asked to pull which we did.  I may have been a little overzealous and I pulled hard, causing both men to lose balance.  It is not as if my goal was to dislodge the arm from the shoulder socket, and yet when I play, I play to win. Pointing to the man in the middle the speaker made this point.  He stated that the man the middle represented each of us as we are being constantly pulled in two different directions.  He stated that we need to resist and remain on track and focused, and have a constant battle within ourselves in order to make good choices. Obviously he was talking about the conflict that exists between the conscious mind and the unconscious man.  In religion it is referred to as…

The natural condition of mankind – You are not broken.

Weakness is the mortal condition to which we are born. Of all animals in this world there is none that are weaker for such a long period of time than that of a human child. Many animals are up and walking within days or weeks. By comparison the human child can take up to a year or longer to balance and walk. The fast walkers still require more than 7 months. While visiting SeaWorld yesterday I discovered that the polar bear cub is chased off by its mother when still less that 3 years of age. At this age the cub has fully learned all the skills necessary for survival, and is ready to take on the world. Compare this to a human child, many of which still need support and guidance into their 20’s. We are born into weakness, and weakness is the natural condition of mankind. We are given weakness for a purpose. 1/ Weakness creates a situation in which each of us can really be tested. If everything came easy there would be no real growth. If everything’s fell into our lap we would not need to develop a drive. We would not need to develop our…

Providing value

There are a great deal of people who believe that their product or service is great value. The value of any service or product is not always reflected in the sales. It is not always reflected in revenue or profits. It is not always received in the manner intended, neither does it always live up to its promises. The strength and value of a product or service is only as good as its ability to be measured, weighed in the balance and compared. When a product is tested against other products, this yields quantifiable results. For example a vacuum cleaner can be tested to see how much dust it collects. A cleaning product can be tested to see how shiny a surface becomes, and a knife could be tested for its ability to remain sharp after excessive use. A product can therefore be tested, measured, evaluated and reviewed. A service in the form of education or up-skilling is somewhat different. We have moved into the Information Age, and the value of knowledge has never been higher. Ideas and concepts, though intangible, hold the key to health, wealth, and success. Information cannot be quantified, weighted or tested in the same way…

Focus on your health. Your life depends on it.
Confidence , Example , health , Life Choices , Possibilities / August 16, 2016

Watched a documentary on health. It showed a man who was only 42 years of age. That is 2 years older than I am. This a man was successful financially and was happy for the most part. Yet his physical health was letting him down. He had let himself slide into a lifestyle that had caused him to move toward obesity.   Furthermore this man became heavily reliant on daily medication to help him to live a somewhat normal life. He had developed conditions, or diseases that needed to be treated and kept in check, and in his own words he described himself moving toward an early grave.   He was filming the documentary that showed him going on a 2 month food fast. For 2 months he did nothing except juice natural fruit and vegetables. That became his only sustenance for 60 days.   The results were remarkable, and he was able to see dramatic changes in his health. He lost more than 25kg in weight and was able to get off all his medications.   As he was filming and travelling around he talked to many people who liked what he was doing, however after describing that it…

Olympic Gold

Currently the Olympic Games in Rio 2016 show us that the world is full of incredible athletes and incredible people. Within each chosen sport, the best in the world compete for Olympic Gold. Every time the Olympic Games are held records fall and new champions emerge. Most of the population sits comfortably in a lounge chair watching the events unfold. Watching other talented exceptional individuals in their moment of glory. We see an event that may last less than 10 seconds such as the 100 meter sprint. Other endurance event last several hours such as the marathon race. Whatever the event, and especially when the highlights are replayed, we only see a small representation of the actual event. What we do not see is the days, weeks, months and years of gruelling struggle that these athletes go through in order to prepare their bodies and minds for this level of competition. The countless hours of dedication to their chosen sport. The sacrifices made to private and personal life in order to even make it to the competition. The iron will, and determination to be number one. Earlier this week I delivered a motivational message to a small group. I posed…

Repatterning my own brain in the area of finances

The last 2 years have been the toughest financial setbacks of my life.  Prior to this I was moving forward with a focus on saving and securing a financial future.  In other words I was saving for a rainy day.   When we have financial setbacks there is a tendency to feel like a failure.  To feel that our positive efforts are not yielding fruit.  When large amounts of effort yield little or no fruit, we begin to wonder if it was all worth it.  There is a tendency to throw in the towel and kick up our heels and just give up.  The storyteller informs us that if a tree does not yield fruit, it is good for nothing, and should be hewn down and cast into the fire.   Many people work extremely hard when starting a new business.  Some work 60 plus hours per week.  They will make huge sacrifices in an attempt to establish and run a successful business.  The biggest concern is the fact that 90% of businesses fail within the first 5 years of operation.   For me, I worked out that I would earn almost as much money on welfare, as I am…

Deciding to get a life coach
Example , Life , Life Choices , Possibilities , Purpose / March 14, 2016

There are two major inhibitors to creating change in our lives.  They are Time and Money.  Let us consider both of these inhibitors.   The first inhibitor is time.  Each of us the same amount of time in our day.  We are all blessed with the same 24 hour period each day that we must decide how to spend.  The reason ‘time’ and ‘spend’ can be used in the same sentence is that time is a resource much like money.  Some hold the belief that time=money.  In other words they see their time as an investment that produces profit and income.  For some, extra socialising, too many parties and abundant holidays are a waste of time, and therefore a waste of money.   Time is a resource that is bound by laws of the universe.  There is nothing that we can do on this planet to change the amount of time available to us.  These constraints do not allow for manipulation or denial.  All that we can do is accept that time will continue to tick away regardless or our desires, feelings or any other factor.  Time is a limited resource and commodity.   Some of the greatest minds and…

Recognising change.

Often we are the last to notice an internal change or “shift” that has occurred inside ourselves.  When I work with others I look for internal “shifts” and changes that occur.  The beauty about change is that it is visible, if one knows what to look for, and how change will manifest itself.  Predominately change will show up on a person’s face and in their physiology.   Due to the unique nature of human beings, the manifestation of psychological “shifts” shows up differently for each individual.  I have been observing “shifts” in people for many years now.  This awareness is learned and all can develop this ability.   In my occupation I often need to deal with aggressive and angry people.  I see the “shifts” happen in these individuals prior to their becoming aggressive.  There are signs that people give prior to ‘acting out’, that warn others of their intentions.  We can learn to become attuned to these signs and this is important if we want to remain prepared and safe.  Learning to read these signs comes with experience, and sometimes that experience is a result of pain and discomfort.  What we use in this instance is “sensory acuity”.  We…