Feeling Stuck?

February 8, 2016

Did some work with a woman who refused to resolve an issue during the first session. There was strong resistance. This resistance has been causing her to remain stagnant. Her progression halted to a stop, and she was unable to let go of her past.
She had learned that “Love” was the highest positive value for the part of herself that wanted great physical health. She also learned that “Love” was the highest positive value for the part of her that wanted to eat poorly and use food as a means of comfort.

In both cases her unconscious mind revealed that love was the desire of her heart or the highest positive value for her life, and the symbolic representation of this was an image of a brain.

In the movie “the matrix”, Morpheus explains to Neo that there is a difference between knowing the path and walking the path.

One may pose the question. Why would she not walk the path, when the way is open before her?

What would cause a person to reject the unification, and integration of knowledge that would alleviate an internal conflict. Why would anyone knowingly hold on to an internal conflict when that conflict is causing such disharmony in life?

The answer is found in considering the function of the brain. This woman’s unconscious mind used the image of a brain as a representation of the challenge. What was her unconscious mind trying to communicate. I have considered how thought plays a crucial role in determining our level of success in life. Thoughts can free us and enable us to imagine and create a bright and compelling future. Positive thinking will expand, elevate and strengthen our resolve to succeed. Furthermore, holding a magnificent vision in our mind will surely keep us excited and motivated.

Thoughts can also keep us contained in a prison. They can cut our legs out from under us. Thoughts can prevent us from trying, or even from taking that first step. Choosing the path of least resistance, or no resistance seems appealing. This is firstly because it is easy. It takes no real effort to stay exactly where you are. The familiar and comfortable keep us “boxed in” to old antiquated beliefs. The second reason a person will refuse to make a conscious shift and accept the truth is fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear of failure. Fear of things being worse than they currently are. Fear of exposure of ones authentic self. Finally the last reason why a person will refuse to “walk the path”, is a limited self belief. They just do not feel they can. They feel that they do not possess the ability, skill, attributes, gifts, talents or desire to support a new empowering way of thinking. For one or all of these reasons life remains the same.

There is one last way to look at the issue. Resolving the issue may not allow her to get the “pay off”, that she will get in life for keeping the issue. After all, if the issue was no longer there, she would not have any excuse for failure, and she could not “use” the issue to get what she feels that she wants or needs. I do not know what the issue was, however I know it is there, and I know that she wants to keep it. If she were to allow the issue to be resolved, she is afraid of what it would mean for her future. It is FEAR that is pinning her down.

Once again for clarity I wish to emphasise that there are three reasons why a person will refuse to transform their life. There are three resistors that prevent human beings from “walking the path”. Once again these resistors are “laziness”, “fear”, and “limited self belief”.

If any one of these three resistors is our master, than we are its slave. We become stuck, trapped and contained. Our brain will do all it can to keep us safe. Our brain will find a way to justify the current condition of our life. Our choice becomes one of choosing the path of least resistance.

Why would anyone choose to live this way? Maybe because it is familiar and within the comfort zone. It seems safe. It seems like it will protect us from rejection, hurt and other negative experiences. We know it, and we trust that which we know. In the movie the Matrix Trinity explains to Neo, “You have to trust me. You have been down that road before. You know exactly where it ends, and I know that’s not where you want to be”. At that moment Neo makes a choice and begins a new journey.

The truth is that if we take little or no risk we receive little or no reward. We remain hollow or empty. We feel less emotion in our life. We have little influence and we play a small game. The lie of safety and protection cannot sustain us when we are feeling lost, lonely and disappointed that the contribution we make to this world is both small and safe.

What is the way out? How do we overcome these resistors?

There is only one sure formulas that I know of. Never, ever, ever, ever give up. Never give up. Never give up.

I love this poem as it has kept me going through some very tough times.

It’s called “don’t quit”.

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you’re trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest, if you must, but don’t you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about,
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don’t give up though the pace seems slow–
You may succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than,
It seems to a faint and faltering man,
Often the struggler has given up,
When he might have captured the victor’s cup,
And he learned too late when the night slipped down,
How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out–
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far,
So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit–
It’s when things seem worst that you must not quit.

– Author unknown –

I have had challenges in my life that seemed so overwhelming, that It seemed to me like there was no solution. I really felt like I would be on my deathbed with sorrow and shame. I had searched in religion, in personal development, in karate and the arts. I had read books, used meditation and developed myself in every area I could. I advanced my career and focused on excellence and yet nothing was working. I failed over and over and over again. I have let people down. I have disappointed both family and friends.

Each time I failed, each time I fell I would dust myself off. I would battle with sorrow and shame and guilt. I would then pick myself up and try again.

Then at age 39 something amazing happened in my soul. In September 2015 I found my purpose at a Tony Robbins event in Sydney. What is even more exciting Is that I now know how transformation works. I have the tools and the desire to make an impact. To make a difference.

Every morning I awake to a new day with one goal. To transform the world around me one person at a time.

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